November 22 2010
In this episode
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Show open and tonight's lineup
A host opens the show on Des MoinesAmplified.com, introduces himself by name in the audio, and previews the night: the second Tales from the Path installment ('Dan the Dunce'), Awkward Moments in Bible History, the week's biblical topic (reaching the unreachable), and a new segment next week (Non-Biblical Signs of the Apocalypse).
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Thrifted shirt, Christmas creep, and Jingle Bells bobtail
Banter about a thrifted Jacobson Transportation Company shirt from Goodwill and a coworker named Rodney, then a long riff on Christmas music arriving too early - the hosts debate whether store Christmas music is holiday cheer or retail manipulation, then detour into what 'bobtail' means in Jingle Bells (an animal with a bobbed tail).
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Reverend Camping, date-setting, and word of the day: hooskow
The hosts joke about Reverend Camping pinning down a date for the Resurrection on Open Forum, riff on the idea that date-setters keep ruining God's schedule, and land on the word of the day: 'hooskow' (spelled H-O-O-S-G-O-W, used to mean force into a corner).
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Thief in the night and show contact info
A chat participant supplies 1 Thessalonians 5:4 about the day not overtaking believers as a thief; the hosts fumble through Bible software reading more thief-in-the-night verses, then give the show's phone number (515-327-1007) and email addresses.
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Non-Biblical Signs: the Kentucky beard-eating story
Preview of next week's Non-Biblical Signs of the Apocalypse: a host reads the news story of Harvey Westmoreland, a Kentucky man allegedly ambushed by Troy Hall and Holton Hill over a riding-lawnmower deal, shaved, and forced to eat his own beard; the hosts riff on the logistics of beard-eating.
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Beard-eating price game and cannibal movies
The hosts turn the beard story into a game: how much money would it take each of them to gnaw off and swallow an inch and a half of their own Santa-length beard (bids range from $500 to $1000, one host holds firm at $700), then drift into cannibal movies - Fried Green Tomatoes, Alive, and an unidentified childhood poodle-eating film.
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Music boxes, the proposal story, and the festival webcast
Tangents before the week's topic: the host's daughter calling a homeless man at Walmart 'gorilla man,' a music box playing the Dolly Parton 9 to 5 theme found at Altoona garage sales, and one host's story of trying to commission a one-run Swedish music box of the song he wrote for his wife's proposal - killed by a single flatted note outside the key. Also floated: a Life from the Path donkey music box, a webcast bid for the Spirit Midwest Music Festival, and the newsletter preview.
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Reaching the unreachable: the missed conversation
The week's topic, reaching the unreachable. A host addressed as Mike recounts a friend of his wife's family who died after he chickened out of a faith conversation he expected to go badly, and his regret afterward. Another host counters with a hospital visit where, as a pastor, he asked a dying woman 'How are you and God?' and found the family grateful someone finally had.
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Judging, the LTG group, and evangelism tactics
The discussion continues: 'God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble' (Proverbs, via James and 1 Peter) as a read on when to persist and when to shake the dust off; judging versus being judgmental (Matthew); one host's LTG accountability group; code-switching around nonbelievers to avoid the conversation; and an early-preaching story from 1984 door-knocking in Cleveland.
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Hospice chaplaincy: people die the way they live
One host recounts his years as a hospice chaplain in Cass County - 'people die the way they live' - and the Christopher Hitchens anecdote about refusing a deathbed conversion, concluding that faith conversations matter while people are alive, not at the end.
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Planting seeds and Where Do I Start
Wrap-up of the topic: believers are accountable only for putting the message out, not for the response - planting seeds others may water later - plus a plug for the earlier show 'Where Do I Start' for the Christ-curious.
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Next week: Candy for Nickels, plus thanks to Des Moines Amplified
Show business: next week's in-studio band Candy for Nickels (playing House of Bricks Dec 1 with Syndrome of Fire), thanks to Des Moines Amplified (Dwayne, Brett, John) for the free studio, and the Amplified Cash verbal-coupon program.
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Tales from the Path: Dan the Dunce
The full performed installment of Tales from the Path: 'Dan the Dunce,' after Hans Christian Andersen - the third son wins the bored princess with a dead crow, an old clog, and a pocket of mud. Afterward the hosts note it will go public on YouTube alongside 'Caps for Sale.'
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Awkward Moments in the Bible: Judas at the Last Supper
Awkward Moments in the Bible, part one: a host reads the Last Supper betrayal exchange (Matthew 26) - 'Surely not I, Rabbi' / 'Yes, it is you' - and the hosts riff on what Judas did next and how the other disciples must have felt, including a hard-of-hearing Thaddeus gag.
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Awkward Moments: Ehud, Eglon, and David in the cave
Part two: a host addressed as Dan tells the Judges 3 story - Ehud assassinating the very large King Eglon, whose servants wait 'to the point of embarrassment' assuming he is relieving himself - and David cutting Saul's tunic in the cave (1 Samuel 24). Bathroom logistics dominate.
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Dan Hudson for President 2012
Running gag: the 'Dan Hudson for President 2012' Facebook page, its handful of members, and the revelation that one host has been commenting on his own status as the 'Ford gumball guy.' The studio phone number is repeated.
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Winter Jam press passes and the David Crowder rehearsal
The hosts discuss applying for Winter Jam press passes and rehearse a backstage interview with David Crowder - one host playing Crowder - testing whether vague accusatory questions like 'What's your problem?' could work, then pivot to interviewing roadies about folding cables instead.
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Caller Matt Cassidy and Danielle's 21st birthday
A caller identified as Matt Cassidy (6'5", host of a Saturday-night viral video show) trades jokes about the campaign and baptism; a two-minute donkey clip plays as a reset; the crew quizzes in-studio Danielle about her upcoming 21st birthday - an apple 'teeny' like JD on Scrubs - then everyone compares 21st birthdays, drinking stories, and dancing.
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Hot chocolate competition and next week's rundown
Regrouping: the week's witnessing topic ran short, so the crew runs down next week - Candy for Nickels in studio, a longer Non-Biblical Signs of the Apocalypse with chat voting 'the end is near' versus 'we've got some time,' and Name That Tune: Jesus Edition (secular songs containing the word Jesus) - plus the hot-chocolate competition assignment and a mock game show, 'What's your problem?'
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Sign-off
Sign-off: newsletter pitch (one host admits to scraping Facebook friends' emails onto it), YouTube plugs for 'Dan the Dunce' and 'Caps for Sale,' the audio podcast on iPod, and the show's sign-off exclamation.