Clearly The Buick Was The Winner

Interview opens: Dave's founding-documents background

The transcript opens mid-interview with guest Dave Funk explaining how an interest in his early twenties led him to spend twenty-plus years studying the framers and founding documents, which he describes as a biblically inspired road map; he says the framers looked to Deuteronomy and to the era's economic writers, producing a free-enterprise system in what he calls a Christian nation.

Apathy, prosperity, and the consent of the governed

• Is government overreach caused by apathy, or by prosperity making people stop paying attention?

A host asks whether apathy explains the country's direction. Dave Funk answers that it is not apathy but prosperity: a century of industrialization and leisure time let people stop watching Washington, forgetting that government rests on the consent of the governed; he closes with the Animal House line, 'you trusted us.'

Pandering politicians vs straight talk

• How many people running for office pander to voters versus say what they actually think?

A host asks how many candidates pander versus say what they think. Dave Funk estimates 30-35 in the U.S. House say what they think, and shares advice he took from Congressman King of western Iowa: when someone says 'let me tell you what I think,' stop them, ask the subject, then tell them what you think instead of telling them what they want to hear. The exchange detours into the show's running 'smelly politician' joke.

Can conservatives actually fix Washington?

• If conservatives get elected, will they actually fix things or just play the game?

A host voices conservative disillusionment since Reagan: elected conservatives 'tell you what you wanna hear' then play the game. Dave Funk argues one principled member of 435 can't do much, but a wholesale housecleaning of 60-80 conservatives would pick the Speaker, set committee chairs, and use the power of the purse to cut spending 30-40% and force a budget veto showdown with President Obama; unlike 1995's shutdown, he says, today's internet, Fox News, and talk radio mean the left no longer controls the message.

Europe's fire-exit signs

A comedy riff spins off Dave's Europe remarks: a host praises European fire-exit signs, where the running man is horizontal and hauling, versus the American sign's casual walker, as a parable of American laziness and reliance on government to handle the fire.

Hurdles: the Tea Party, localism, and Moses' model

• What are the hurdles to getting your message out and changing how people think of government?

Asked about his hurdles, Dave Funk cites a National Tea Party Patriots survey of 380,000 rally attendees: 80% said reduce the size and scope of the federal government. He argues social-policy fights belong under Iowa's Golden Dome, not in Washington, and that the framers' model mirrors Moses in Deuteronomy: groups of ten, a hundred, a thousand, with Moses making very few decisions himself.

The dependency-mindset debate

Ben argues the deeper problem is attitude: once broad social programs exist they can't be taken back, because people have stopped taking responsibility for themselves, their families, and their neighbors, letting the federal government fill the gap. A host adds that the healthcare bill sells as better, cheaper, universal coverage without explaining how. Dave Funk cuts in to reject the premise outright, addressing Ben by name: centralized planning cannot work, and healthcare is not broken.

Dave's healthcare fix: tort reform, portability, HSAs

Dave Funk lays out his healthcare position: the system isn't broken (90% insured, most happy), so shrink the uninsured number honestly and fix it with realistic tort reform, major-medical policies sold across state lines, and easy health-savings accounts modeled on passbook savings. He contrasts government-run care with LASIK, which got cheaper and better with no third-party payments, and illustrates consumer price awareness with a $2,800 tonight vs $1,400 Thursday MRI scenario that becomes a running joke.

Starving the healthcare law; voter cynicism; Boswell

• What are the chances of reversing the healthcare law?
• What do you say to the person who thinks politicians are crooked and nothing can change?

Asked the odds of reversing the healthcare law, Dave Funk says: starve it financially, then repeal or reverse it in court. A host asks what to say to the cynic who thinks politicians are crooked and voting is hopeless; Dave answers that 60-100 new House Republicans would sideline Nancy Pelosi ('go play golf'), and the segment closes with the Denny Green 'new sheriff in town' line, a story about being thrown out of the capitol, and a plug for a funny Alabama ag-commissioner YouTube video.

Campaign slogans: 'Congress needs Funk'

The hosts riff on Dave's surname as a campaign asset: the slogan 'Congress needs Funk,' funkforcongress.com, and the official campaign song 'We Got the Funk.' Dave jokes he can't sing or dance, and a host notes his opponents could use 'funk' as a slogan too.

Enumerated powers, federal agencies, and Dave's bio

Challenged on a Des Moines Register piece calling his positions extreme (government should only do what the Constitution explicitly authorizes), Dave Funk defends the 17 enumerated powers of Congress and walks through the Department of Energy and Department of Education as unconstitutional overreach, then gives his bio: joined the Air Force in 1976, got sent to Omaha, grew up in Buffalo, New York, and never left Iowa.

The Kirby vacuum comedy bit

A long comedy detour on vacuum prices spirals through $1,300 Kirbys, door-to-door salesmen ('ex-Mormons' with lots of practice), a story about hosting two sweating Mormon missionaries with cold water and telling them he's praying for their twelve apostles, and confusion between Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses over the 144,000. Dave reveals he owns a Kirby.

How to win a seven-person primary

• How do you win a seven-person primary?

Asked how an average voter picks a winner among seven primary candidates, Dave Funk says: look as many Republican primary voters in the eye as possible, let them take your measure as a man, and lay your whole life out there. He cites Romney outspending Huckabee 14-15 to one in Iowa and getting 'slammed into the pavement' as proof money isn't everything.

Guns, concealment permits, and arm wrestling

A host describes getting a concealment permit right after Obama's election partly to irritate liberals, recounts Dave's booth at a gun show, and the conversation drifts into arm-wrestling stories: bets against himself for a 20-ounce soda, never winning, and Dave declaring 'I'm a rifleman. I don't arm wrestle people.'

Hoarding, gun confiscation, and the preamble

A host describes a Hoarding episode where authorities confiscated a man's guns and threatened his retirement, asking who has that authority. Dave Funk answers that police can take guns from a threat, then reads the Constitution's preamble from his copy and draws the line between 'promote' and 'provide' for the general welfare: living like a slob is none of the government's business; power is 'we, the people,' not 'them, the government.'

Tea Party infiltration story and break

Dan recounts attending the local Tea Party, sitting 20 feet behind Dave Funk and deciding not to do the cheesy 'hi, Dave Funk, I'm Dan' introduction, then describes a hired-looking protester with a profanity sign doing a 'funky dance' to make the rally look bad on TV. The hosts agree the media blew the event out of proportion, and the show goes to break.

Break music: 'Old Man Jonah' and the Dale Peterson ad

During the break a musician performs an original song about 'old man Jonah' waiting for the rapture, followed by the Dale Peterson Alabama agriculture-commissioner campaign ad ('I'll name names and take no prisoners... we don't give a rip about Alabama'), then a fragment of a second song about getting through one more day.

Welcome back: brownies, Pac-Man, ministry-center arcade

Back from break, the hosts welcome Dave Funk back for the second hour, feed him a brownie, joke about Holiday Inn Express cinnamon rolls, and reminisce about playing a gig at the University of Reynolds bar and grill. Mike sketches a Pac-Man on a styrofoam plate, sparking a plan to put free arcade games at the ministry center.

Praying to win Pac-Man; the funk mobile; cash for clunkers

The Pac-Man bit continues: a joke about a 'save me Jesus' button and whether it's wrong to pray to win at Pac-Man, plus teasing about swearing in the big green van. Dave pitches wrapping a red-white-and-blue 'funk mobile,' and the hosts gripe about cash for clunkers (credited to Bruce Braley) and a lingering Fred Thompson 'Fred '08' bumper sticker.

Taxes: the housebuilder scenario and the lightsaber

A host complains about tax-settlement commercials ('I owed a million-five and settled for $1.50'). Dave Funk concedes people should pay taxes but argues for looking at circumstances: his scenario of a homebuilder who made $500k/year for five years then got wiped out by the banking collapse deserves a break, because he'll rebuild and contribute again. The segment ends with a lightsaber joke, Dave apologizing to Ben by name, and the MRI callback.

Garage sales, the Aunt Jemima painting, and the lottery

• Do you play the lottery?

A garage-sale riff: haggling etiquette, the fear of being the overpriced garage sale, Dave's story of a shopper asking for 'rare antiques' ('if I knew they were rare antiques, do you think I'd be selling them in a garage sale?'), and a daughter's roommate finding a painting at a garage sale appraised at $10,000. It closes with Dave asked whether he plays the lottery ('occasionally... voluntary taxes') and a host admitting he tried to return a ticket.

Reserve police officer: immigration and firemen vs cops

Asked about being a reserve police officer in Pleasant Hill, Dave Funk describes the training and the team, notes he arrested a drug dealer a month earlier, and delivers his immigration line: an 'undocumented worker' is like that dealer — 'really just an unlicensed pharmacist' — asking 'what part of illegal don't you understand?' He closes with the fireman-vs-cop joke: a fireman runs in asking who to save; a cop walks up thinking about the paperwork.

Closing pitch: vote for Funk on June 8

Dave Funk closes: vote for Funk on June 8 — Democrats and independents can register Republican for a day. He points to congressneedsfunk.com, says if he loses he gets to go play with his kids, warns of a three-to-five-year window to save the country, and paraphrases Thomas Sowell's 'Housing Boom and Bust' on how uncertainty over government policy freezes business investment.

Second hour: Dave's send-off and the troll in the closet

After the break the hosts recap saying goodbye to Dave Funk — their first guest they hadn't met beforehand — check Dan's mic, then a host tells the episode's signature story: a mentally challenged young man caught a census worker he mistook for a troll, locked him in a closet, and fed him Skittles under the door. The hosts debate whether they'd do census work.

Skype line, chat recap, and 'we're not a political show'

Housekeeping: the show takes Skype calls via 'Des Moines Amplified,' and the chat spent Dave's hour suggesting campaign slogans. The hosts reflect that the show has no agenda beyond Christ's direction — they're not a political show, and the heavy issues don't have to define a Christ-centered life; what matters is that people know Christ, not whether they're Republican or Democrat.

Debrief: the rejected premise and the church's role

The hosts debrief Dave's visit, laughing that he rejected Ben's premise outright ('that was his way of saying you're an idiot'). Ben restates his point: shrinking government fails unless the mindset changes, since programs like Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security are politically untouchable; the church dropped the ball on caring for the poor and elderly, creating the gap government filled.

Rubber-band politics and letting people fail

The hosts discuss politics as a rubber band snapping between extremes, unemployment sapping the urgency to find work, and a host's testimony that his help comes from 'my savior and my church family,' not government. Ben argues principles assume willing participants, and that a country refusing to let people fail — like parents refusing to remove training wheels — kills determination; the moral direction comes from God, not a government ceiling.

Memorial Day, chaplains, Olsen's paint, and sign-off

The show winds down: a campaign-manager joke ('Dave Fook's campaign manager Mike Foost'), regret at not marking Memorial Day with Dave the veteran in studio, thanks for his service, and musing about military chaplains on the front lines. Then Olsen's Craigslist paint-haggling (a buyer offering ammunition in trade), a prank voicemail left for Jared signed 'Mike and Dan,' and the sign-off: Pathway Church in Johnston, livefromthepath.org, thepathonline.org — see you next Monday.