January 23 2012

Show open: missing crew and an absent musical guest

Ben introduces himself by name and opens the show from the Pathway Studios, noting the room feels toasty. Mike and Dan are addressed on air while Spike and Houser are reported absent for no legitimate reason. The hosts say they hope singer-songwriter Adam Cates will stop by or call in, but he never arrives; a web search turns up a different Adam Cates's Christian-music site instead.

Hard question: can a Christian marry an unbeliever?

• Is it okay to go ahead and marry someone who is not a believer?

A host poses the hard question: if God can change anyone, is it okay to marry a nonbeliever? The hosts lay out three likely outcomes of an unequal marriage — the Christian marginalizes their faith, the nonbelieving spouse is marginalized, or constant friction — and a host tells a personal story of ending a three-and-a-half-year high-school relationship because his number one was Jesus and hers was not. They argue a shared faith removes a thousand arguments the Bible already settles, from money to children, and that being accountable to the same God gives a marriage a counselor beyond two competing opinions.

Dating, witnessing, and the opposite sex

• Should you require a faith 'checkbox' before dating someone?
• Is it appropriate for a married man to witness to a woman who might misread his intentions?

The hosts debate whether a faith 'checkbox' should precede dating, landing against shutting people out while urging honesty about Jesus early. A host tells of freezing up at a bar-and-grill when he saw a woman heading for trouble and wished he had spoken to her; the others joke that Paul would have marched right over, teasing him that God called his name and he answered that he was just buying a gift card. They close the thread cautioning against long-term one-on-one evangelism with the opposite sex while refusing to use awkwardness as an excuse to stay silent.

Verdict: marrying an unbeliever is a plain bad idea, plus listener letters

After a 'guys on the path' riff, the hosts deliver the verdict: marrying a nonbeliever is simply a bad idea for the marriage and for one's walk with Christ, not a claim of superiority. They discuss Paul's counsel to those already married to unbelievers — demonstrate God's love, and let them go if they leave — and read listener letters, including one from a commenter named Leslie whose wife began abusing him on their wedding night. The segment closes on cross-denominational friction, joking that Catholic-Baptist baptism disputes could be settled by spinning a wheel, and on the principle that Scripture usually counsels action with guardrails: do this, but be careful.

Bible reading: deep study or the big picture?

A host says he and his wife have been weighing whether their LTG reading should go deeper on fewer chapters or keep trucking through twenty to thirty chapters a week. He favors starting with the big picture — read straight through so you learn where your questions are — before narrowing focus. The others agree: read until you have to stop and ask what a passage means, rather than forcing a quota or manufacturing a devotional moment.

Getting back under God's authority: Psalm 51

• How do you get back under God's authority once you've left it?

A host brings a question from his Monday-night Bible study: how do you get back under God's authority after leaving it? He confesses the habit of trying to feel bad enough or apologize enough times to earn his way back, then quotes Psalm 51:17 — God wants a broken spirit and a contrite heart, not sacrificed bulls. The hosts agree the way back is simply to turn around: God's love and grace did all the work, and realizing that is what breaks a person.

How seriously do we fight sin?

Picking up the repentance thread, the hosts argue Christians are too casual about persistent sin — 'casually disappointed' instead of fighting it like the old wolfman movies' hero begging to be chained to the wall. They cite Jesus' 'cut off your hand' teaching and Proverbs' warning to stay off the fools' path entirely, then debate keeping secular friends: be salt and light in the world, but not if the world has dimmed your light. Dan is noted on air as agreeing.

The true cost of sin: sacrifice and the substitute

After a station ID, a host reframes sin through the Old Testament sacrificial system: worshippers had to kill their own livestock — animals their children played with — in front of everyone at the temple, making sin's cost visceral. He argues modern believers miss the weight of Jesus' sacrifice without that backdrop: an innocent man took the knife for them. They then turn on the trendy habit of reveling in sin so Jesus looks cooler for forgiving it — 'Jesus rocks on his own,' one says, 'you could have not been born at all and Jesus would still be awesome' — noting Paul expressly warned against sinning to manufacture more grace.

Self-denial and the $2 soda

A host confesses he denies himself very little: he grabs a gas-station pop without thinking and bumps the thermostat from 70 to 72 instead of putting on a sweater. The others push back that suffering alone is not holiness, but agree the pattern matters: if you will not surrender a two-dollar soda, you are unlikely to surrender your job, your home, or your favorite sins. Jesus did not ask for the soda, they conclude — he asked for the whole life.

John 15: the vine, the branches, and real service

After a fumbling transition, a host shares what hit him in a Saturday class on John 15: the more connected you are to the vine, the more fruit you bear — abiding in Jesus, not volunteering an hour, is what produces ministry. The hosts contrast 'putting in a volunteer hour' with serving out of connection to Christ, and note how Scripture lands differently at different seasons of life. The segment ends with a station ID.

Dear LFTP: the doctor's waiting room

• Should you ignore an acquaintance you spot in a doctor's waiting room at a specialist's office?

After an audio glitch and some weather banter, a host reads a Dear LFTP letter: should you ignore an acquaintance spotted in a specialist's waiting room, where being seen reveals a private condition? The hosts riff on vasectomy-clinic run-ins and a hypothetical 'Bob Thompson,' with one recounting feeling out of place at a cardiologist's office as a young man, and they ask the chat whether acknowledging a woman at the gynecologist is weirder. The Secular answer is read aloud: acknowledge the acquaintance but refrain from asking questions — not even 'how are you' — which the hosts find both sensible and awkward.

Dear LFTP: the neighbors' 'natural habitat' yard

• What do you do about nice neighbors whose uncut yard has become an eyesore?

A listener writes that her nice neighbors let their suburban yard grow wild behind a 'certified natural habitat' sign, and she worries about her home's value while her husband fears hurting their feelings. The hosts mostly shrug — put up a privacy fence, or mow it while they are on vacation — then spiral into hypotheticals about He-Man sheets, hand-painted skulls, and nightly silhouette dances. The Secular answer advises checking whether the yard still qualifies with the city, warning of fire hazard and HOA codes, which prompts the hosts to dub homeowners associations 'modern-day Pharisees.'

Interlude: Jeff Arendale teaser, Adam Cates's 'January,' and the winking verse

The hosts announce that Jeff Arendale returns next week with bandmates to play cuts from his new album, joking that the host winks at fellow Jesus-lovers like Jeff downtown. With the absent Adam Cates 'detained,' they play his song 'January' in full. Afterward they look up Proverbs 10:10 — 'he who winks the eye causes trouble' — and read the rest of the verse, discovering the winker is paired with 'a babbling fool,' which one host cheerfully applies to himself after two unplanned hours on air.

Dr. Dan: the couple fighting in the group

• When a couple argues in front of you in a group, do you step in or stay out?

A 'Dr. Dan' advice scenario is posed: a married couple, Jacob and Rachel, bicker in a small group over her father's endless demands for free labor and his unwashed dinner dishes. The hosts' unanimous counsel is to stay out of it — a couple having an off week will reconcile and you will be remembered as the meddler; one compares intervening to taking a man's 'man card,' and Dan is dubbed 'the new Laban' for his plans to put future sons-in-law to work. They back it biblically, noting the consistent scriptural response to complainers before Jesus is rebuke, from the disciples shooing children away to Peter being corrected; one host says that in his job, couples bringing him petty spats is the hardest part: 'I don't care who washes the dishes in your house.'

Dear LFTP: the paddling sorority

• Should a college woman join a legacy sorority that paddles members for discipline?

A letter addressed to 'Abby' rather than the show — Mike noted earlier that he wrote the Dear Abby-style letters — asks whether to join a legacy sorority that paddles members for discipline despite family pressure to uphold tradition. The hosts are unanimous and loud: no paddling of nineteen-year-olds, no matter who holds the paddle; one calls it the childification of a culture where people do not grow up until fifty. The Secular answer calls paddling assault with a weapon and cites a young man's hazing death in Florida, and the segment closes with a college-dorm story: a host whose rule-breaking made his dorm parents weep and resign, landing him on probation.

Dear LFTP: should she keep her last name?

• Should a bride take her husband's last name when his name comes from an absent father?
• Is it appropriate for a man to give a female coworker a nickname?

A 33-year-old listener engaged to Kip does not want his last name, since Kip never knew the father who abandoned him as a baby; she is proud of her own father's name, a hard-working Vietnam veteran. The hosts call it a cultural, not biblical, question and mostly do not care — she is marrying Kip, not his dad — though one notes the 'leave and cleave' principle and another points out women appear in Jesus' genealogy. The Secular answer agrees no one can decide this for her but she should talk it through with Kip, and the thread drifts into whether men may give female coworkers nicknames, with one host admitting he calls a male coworker Orlando.

Sign-off: no guest, no plan, and a closing song

Wrapping up, the hosts admit Adam Cates was supposed to fill an hour to an hour and a half with interview and songs, and marvel that they lasted nearly two hours on no material at all. They remind listeners Jeff Arendale returns next week with friends to play his new CD. The show closes with another Adam Cates song, an unannounced worship number built on the refrain 'Take me, take me, Jesus.'