November 1 2021

Cold open: metal album brewing

The show opens with the standard 'live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston Proper' intro. The hosts joke about recording a metal album when one of them has only ten seconds of a song so far, then riff on 'Tickle, tickle, mini-pussets' and how to pronounce Manet.

Halloween recap and joke round

The hosts compare Halloween notes: a church trunk-or-treat, a creepy hearse driver handing out candy with a coffin in the back, Nathaniel's kids (Eleanor's cow joke, Finn's Spider-Man moves), a crude butt-cheek joke, a Hamilton/Burr pun, and a running bit where one host knows none of the current cabinet members and not even that Hamilton was treasury secretary.

What percentage of Christians tithe?

• What percentage of Christians tithe?

One host poses the question and the others guess: seven, twenty, and a literal ten percent. The answer from the study: only about 13 percent of evangelicals tithe, while half give less than 1 percent of income annually.

The Generosity Factor study read-through

The hosts read and react to 'The Generosity Factor: Evangelicals and Giving' — average 2.4 percent to church plus 0.8 percent to charity (3.2 percent total), median church giving just 0.57 percent, giving rising with income, the shift from weekly attendance to once-or-twice-a-month engagement, cash giving versus checks and Venmo, and a side bit about bad checks written to the church.

Sabbath and the land's rest

A host reflects that the Old Testament Sabbath is a deeper picture of God's rest, not a formula — pointing to the back end of 2 Chronicles and parts of Ezekiel, where the land was denied its seven-year rest because Israel kept farming and would not trust God to provide. Where God has set a pattern, he argues, ignoring it is done at one's own peril.

Are we less generous because we're overtaxed?

• Are Americans less generous because they feel overtaxed already?

Reading the study's claim that 'Americans are far less generous than they think they are,' the hosts ask whether people feel they have already given 'at the ballot box,' whether Trump's tax relief raised giving, and how the gig economy and crowdfunding (GoFundMe, Kiva) are reshaping generosity — with Gen Z 31 percent more likely than seniors to give directly, and seniors 20 percent more likely to give through congregations.

Browsing GoFundMe's faith section

The hosts browse GoFundMe's faith section: a first monastery in Pakistan ($1,700), the God's Heart Prophetic Conference 2022 hitting its $20,000 goal, a church bus repair in Chestnut Hill, Virginia falling short, and a claim that GoFundMe is now 'the third largest insurance company in the U.S.' They share their own crowdfunding stories — one host gave $100 to a high-school classmate's broken air conditioner, another supports a ministry that helps underpaid preachers — and joke about funding a show trip to Hawaii.

Lifestyle creep and intentional money

One host shares that he and his wife Amanda are talking about how extra money gets absorbed — two loaves of bread in the cart, less worry about gas money — and how easily a standard of living rises instead of a standard of giving as raises, bonuses, and tax returns come in.

Sluggard marks 1-2: won't start, won't finish

The Secular vs. Solomon game frame is set with an article, 'Eight marks of a sluggard': mark 1 is that the sluggard will not start things (initiative fails; one host confesses a piece of siding blown off a year ago he keeps talking about), and mark 2 is that he will not finish things (half-read books, unused gym memberships, unkept promises). The hosts push back that the same marks can describe an overcommitted person who cannot say no rather than a lazy one.

Sluggard marks 3-4: hard things and restlessness

Mark 3: the sluggard will not face hard things — 'there's a lion outside, I shall be killed in the streets' — debated as cowardly excuse versus legitimate risk, with a hardware-store trip analogy and a joke about one host hitting the lion with a truck. Mark 4: the sluggard is anxious and restless because he lives contrary to his design, leading to a defense of intentional habits as freedom and a swipe at 14-hour YouTube days.

Sluggard mark 5: constant trouble, plus the Hebrews detour

• What is the exact Hebrews wording about the word of God being a double-edged sword?

Mark 5: the sluggard's life is beset by constant trouble, with a call for leeway for people simply not wired for rigid spiritual rhythms. The hosts work out Hebrews 4:12 ('the word of God... sharper than a double-edged sword') — arguing it meant what God had said and recorded, not a personal daily-Bible-quota mandate — and close with an original Halloween joke: 'What does Gandalf say when he's constipated? Pooh shall not pass.'

Sluggard marks 6-7: nuisance and self-deception

Mark 6: the sluggard is a nuisance — 'like vinegar to the teeth and smoke to the eyes' — spawning a bit about one-sided, crisis-only relationships and reluctant listening. Mark 7: the sluggard is self-deceived, with grand business proposals, spiritual-sounding excuses for not working ('salvation is not by works'), and 'the sluggard is wiser in his own eyes than seven men who can answer sensibly' (Proverbs 26).

Sluggard mark 8: leadership, boundaries, and the face in the oven

• Is it wrong to set ultimatums with people who refuse to change, and what is the difference between an ultimatum and a boundary?

Mark 8: the sluggard will not become a leader. The hosts part company with the article's hyper-spiritual conclusion — ordinary obedience does not need a fresh spiritual revelation — and hash out ultimatums versus boundaries through a comic extended bit: a man who calls every morning to report he stuck his face in the oven again, and whether it is fair to stop picking up until a morning he didn't. Cited: Dave Ramsey's 'hang around rich people' logic and 'let your yes be a yes.'

Don't think, do: the New Testament word search

One host searches the New Testament for the word 'think' to back the claim that there is little pondering in Scripture — landing on Philippians 4:8, Romans 12:3, Matthew 22:42 ('what do you think about the Christ, whose son is he?'), and 1 Peter 1:13 ('prepare your minds for action'). The segment closes with a call to action: listeners struggling with sluggardliness should call the complaint line and then go do the thing — 'God already spoke to the thing. Go handle it.'

Dear LFTP: the shoes-in-the-house dispute

• My husband wears shoes in the house despite my no-shoes policy; who is right?

A listener writes: married 15 years, work from home, kids 4 and 1, she holds a no-shoes-in-the-house policy but her husband wears his inside — even wearing the 'inside shoes' outside to mow — and rages when called out. The hosts split: some say take the shoes off if they slip off easily; others defend the husband, argue she is over-cranking on a clean-freak standard, and warn against 'death by a thousand cuts' on a good man — men are emotionally frail about failing their wives — while one host's story about a lost dog argues for always wearing shoes.

Secular's verdict on the shoes letter

Secular, the worldly-wisdom persona, delivers its verdict on the letter: the husband is being self-centered and should be more considerate with small children on the floor — though the hosts read the answer mockingly, especially its postscript suggesting disposable shoe covers like Mr. Rogers. A sidebar on bootie covers, hospital clean rooms, and 3M clean-room tape lines follows.

Outro: complaint line, reviews, sign-off

The hosts plug the show's complaint line, ask for podcast-app reviews, and point listeners to the website, YouTube, and Facebook page. The episode closes with the sign-off: 'be faithful; God will handle the ends.'