When Culture Lacks Objective Reality

Show open

The show opens from the Pathway Studios in Johnston Proper with the usual intro. A host greets the listeners and sets up the day's conversation.

Kids' books, Droopy voices, and long songs

A host recounts reading books to his kids and doing Droopy the Dog voices, then riffs with the room on Arlo Guthrie's Alice's Restaurant, The City of New Orleans, Gordon Lightfoot's Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, trips to Duluth, overpriced Duluth Trading Company underwear, and the newest True Grit. Nathaniel is in the room and joins the banter.

GameStop losses and holding

A host admits he lost his shorts on GameStop and is holding anyway — 'the only thing that I gained by selling is to admit defeat' — recounting buying some low and more at $3.25 after getting too optimistic. The room ribs him about the amount invested and his wife hearing it.

The mythical 'perfect Christian' posturing

• Is the 'perfect Christian' posture a real thing churches run into, or just an easy target for opinion pieces?

A host asks whether the 'perfect Christian' — people posturing as having it all together — is a real thing churches run into or just an easy target for opinion pieces. One speaker recalls a man who came up shaking with anger after church because they sang Chris Tomlin's 'My Chains Are Gone' instead of the original Amazing Grace, and never came back.

Truth as healing ointment, not a shovel

• How do Christians balance telling the truth with being charitable?

A long host monologue: society's positions often come from fear of being on the wrong side rather than belief; schools' COVID measures go beyond science into fear. Truth should be applied like healing ointment, not thrown like a bomb — and meeting people in fear is charitable, but letting unreality persist dishonors them. A long analogy: telling a man he can flip the kitchen light switch instead of killing power to his whole house is design knowledge, not cruelty, and God's design works the same way.

You can't curate your own church; feelings aren't arbiters of truth

A host rejects the idea of a church with five or six speakers you pick like a sales conference — people stink at knowing what they need, and the Holy Spirit often brings the humility lesson nobody would have chosen. Feelings can't arbitrate truth: the puppy-kicking thought experiment shows two contradictory 'truths' can't both be universally true, so we need an external framework — Scripture, and the Holy Spirit navigating charity and truth.

Listener sign-off impressions game

The hosts play listener-submitted impressions of the show sign-off 'Be faithful in the means, God will handle the ends,' sent in on the complaint line. Played-back recordings draw guesses: a beatboxer (Beavis, friend of Butthead — a host has Dan do a medieval introduction), the guy from Sling Blade, Mickey Mouse, Goofy, Boris Yeltsin as a cab driver. A host references Mike during the guessing.

Russian coworker, a January kayak rescue, and the pope in Bondurant

Impression talk drifts into a coworker's stories of working with Russians and kayaking near Chernobyl. A host recounts following a man whose kayak fell off his truck in January Iowa — the old canoe bore Russian lettering reading 'follow me to freedom,' the driver's father's escape story — and how he was led to Bondurant, where crowds believed the pope was in town. He begs Nathaniel to act like the pope and give them advice; Nathaniel's terse papal blessing: 'thank you for the canoe.'

The golden calf testimony: Aaron's lame excuse and our own

• What lame excuses do I make, like Aaron's golden-calf excuse?

Nathaniel (speaker-2) tells of listening to Exodus on audio and laughing at Aaron's excuse — 'I threw the gold in the fire and out came this calf' — then asking himself what lame excuses he has, like speaking badly about his boss. The hosts apply it broadly: most sin isn't out of left field; we throw ingredients in and act surprised when the calf pops out.

Taking responsibility: no more 'I don't know what happened'

The hosts extend the golden calf picture: responsibility replaces control — avoid the rooms where the ingredients gather, since omission and commission both count. One speaker shares his family's prayer board and his failure to use time intentionally that week, asking his family to call it out. They riff on a golden-calf mobile app game idea, then tee up Dear LFTP.

Dear LFTP: a widow dating 'Ken,' who lives with his mom

• Is it normal for a 57-year-old man to still be living with his mom?

A widow whose husband died eleven months ago dated 'Ken' for six months; Ken, 57, lives with his mother, who forbids shorts, hand-holding, and sitting together. The hosts advise she dodged a bullet: it's Ken's job to handle his mother, walk away, and give herself time — big decisions shouldn't come so soon after a spouse dies. Secular's answer: you don't need help, they do.

Dear LFTP: who pays the airfare on a road trip

• When a friend flies in for a shared road trip, is it normal to split the airfare?

A listener and a friend plan a road trip from different parts of the country and disagree over whether to split the friend's airfare. The hosts call it a non-issue: split everything down the middle or Dutch-treat it, and just ask each other — if you can't ask the question, don't get in the car. Secular's answer: discuss it; it depends on your financial situations.

Dear LFTP: Mick Jagger and Rod Stewart in the funeral book

• Should I confront the pallbearer who wrote joke celebrity names in my husband's funeral memorial book?

A widow writing thank-you notes discovered a pallbearer — her brother-in-law — wrote 'Mick Jagger' and 'Rod Stewart' in the memorial book; her teenage daughters found it disrespectful. The hosts land on 'you're overreacting, but let it go': grieving people do weird things, confrontation solves nothing. Secular's answer disagrees: she is not overreacting and should tell her sister-in-law.

Outro: funeral logs, the complaint line, and Boova's silence

Closing banter: none of them sign funeral guest books, and a host jokes he can't be seen at funerals with Dan or Ben. He plugs the Bob Eisenlauer complaint line (515) 517-0085 — still open for sign-off impressions — and calls out Boova (addressed on air as 'Buva') for never listening to the show unless a clip features him. Sign-off: 'Be faithful in the means. God will handle the ends.'