Too Long, Didn’t Read It

Show open

A host opens the show from the Pathway (Path Blue) Studios in Johnston Proper, with the standard 'live from the Pathway' intro.

John Acuff and the wasted opening line

A host shares a John Acuff article on public speaking: bad speakers waste the opening line on shop talk ('so glad to be here'), the moment of peak anticipation. He confesses he has wasted the show's own opening 250-300 times and vows on-air repentance starting next week. Banter follows about conflicting speaking advice, a Willow Creek seminar where Rob Bell brought a goat on stage, and the need for an actual show opener.

Show plan: two sevens plus Dear LFTP

A host lays out the episode: two listicles - 'seven really bad reasons not to read the Bible' and 'seven things evil is not: what the death of my son taught me' (a Christianity Today piece) - plus Dear LFTP advice letters.

Bad reason 1: the Bible is optional

• How would you respond to someone who says the Bible is optional because 'love God, love people' covers it?

Reacting to the claim that 'love God, love people' makes the Bible optional, the hosts argue bumper-sticker theology is a steering wheel, not a roadmap: nobody actually preaches 'don't bother reading the rest,' and a four-word synopsis can't teach you what loving God looks like in practice. Living off a fridge phrase is 'eating the mince at the start of the line and never making it to the breakfast buffet.'

Bad reason 2: church leaders don't expect Bible reading

• Do church leaders fail to expect Bible reading from their flocks?

The hosts push back on the claim that pastors don't expect their flocks to read: not bringing a Bible to church no more implies non-reading than not bringing a washer and dryer implies dirty clothes. Discussion turns to how teachers can unintentionally create dependency - 'giving and not teaching' - intimidating people who think they'll never understand, with Rob Bell and Mark Driscoll contrasted as the intimidating vs. down-to-earth teaching models.

'Google faith': access up, engagement down

• Why is Bible engagement declining while scripture access keeps climbing (Google faith, YouVersion)?

On the claim that searchable verses and the YouVersion app (100M downloads) replaced reading: the hosts agree easy answers are a real risk - a radio preacher with bad end-times theology goes unchecked because listeners never read the context (the host only caught it because he knew Matthew 24). One host tells of feeling awful and deliberately sitting down to hear Jesus himself - Sermon on the Mount, the long Mark dialogues - instead of sermons about him.

Bad reasons 3-4: failure guilt and burned-out Bible study

• Is there a survey on how many people have actually read the Bible?

The hosts discuss failure-shame keeping people from the leather-bound book, then the claim that burned-out Bible study means we should just 'read the story': a caller-in-spirit's street-evangelism example shows most people misunderstand even the Ten Commandments. They argue scripture's genres read differently - nobody pleasure-reads Leviticus, Numbers, Isaiah or the Psalms the same way, and stuffing everything into a daily-study box ignores how the text communicates.

Bad reason 5: embarrassed by the Bible

On being embarrassed by scripture: one host admits a past fear of finding something in Leviticus that would arm internet atheists, now overcome. They agree people avoid the Old Testament from misunderstanding, not embarrassment - hearing God's judgments without the reasons behind them - and land the punchline: 'You ain't reading your Bible because you ain't following Jesus.'

Bad reason 6: Bible bullies, plus the itching-ears verse

The hosts roast 'thought leaders' who tell followers they can't understand scripture without their education ('if you're not teaching people to do things, you're a cult man'), praising teachers who feed just enough to make people hungry for more. A running gag imagines Paul slapping excuse-makers while saying 'by no means,' capped with the quoted 'itching ears' passage (2 Timothy 4:3).

Article's finish: the 60-day faith-restart pitch

The listicle ends with a hard pivot into selling a 60-day, hour-a-day 'power reading' plan; the hosts call the author a shill for Bible reading plans but agree a full sweep gives the big picture. Moses' seven-year public reading of the law (Deuteronomy 31) and the year of Jubilee supply the real context. The second list - 'seven things evil is not' - is held for next week.

Dear LFTP: the graduation, the ex, and the mother-in-law with dementia

• Should I call ahead to warn the hotel and restaurants about my ex-mother-in-law's dementia before the graduation visit?

A listener asks whether she should call ahead to warn hotels and restaurants about her ex-husband's mother, who has dementia and makes scenes (sending food back, accusing staff). The hosts say no: don't meddle, focus on the daughter's graduation. Practical advice: slip the waiter $5 and 'live in their reality'; note the son should stop dragging his mother into agitating situations for her own sake. Secular's answer: call ahead and ask for a private area.

Dear LFTP: the veteran who lost Donna

• Should I ask Donna's sister where Donna is now, or keep trying to get over her?

A listener deployed to Kuwait in 2009 broke off a short relationship with 'Donna' so she wouldn't worry; she moved away, his old phone broke, and he has thought of her daily since. Should he ask her sister where she is? The hosts: yes, go knock - worst case you learn the truth; the apprehension is real but the excuses are stupid. Secular's answer: talk to the sister, who might enjoy playing Cupid.

Dear LFTP: the affair, and sign-off

• Should I take a break from my affair with a married man and revisit it in a few years, or stick by him until he can divorce?

A 24-year-old in a three-year affair with a married father says he keeps promising divorce once his citizenship allows it. The hosts are blunt: she is deceived, the man wins in every scenario while wife, kids, and she lose; don't wait, don't take a break to 'revisit' - end it. Secular's answer favors the break for lack of guarantees. The show closes with the email address for listener questions, a tease of next week's show, and the sign-off.