October 8 2012

Show open from the Pathway Studios

Show open from the Pathway Studios in Johnston proper. The host introduces himself as Ben Fust and describes the program as about 'honest faith, fierce grace, and donkeys.' Brief sibling banter ('we shared a womb') sets the tone.

Tonight's lineup preview

The hosts preview the night's lineup: guest Kelly and her upcoming mission trip, GodIsImaginary.com proof 21 ('understand Jesus' core message'), Dear LFTP letters, a promised 'pompastic talk' moment, and Secular vs. Solomon.

Getting to know guest Kelly Johnson

Guest Kelly Johnson introduces herself: originally from Vermont, a minister's daughter who moved around a lot, most recently living in Wisconsin; she's been attending Pathway for close to a year. Includes Vermont teddy bear banter and a running bit about on-air technical difficulties.

The mission trip: Haitian Ministries in the Dominican Republic

• What is Kelly's mission trip and how can listeners help fund it?
• Where is the Dominican Republic?

Kelly details the trip: traveling November 6 with Haitian Ministries to work among Haitians relocated to the Dominican Republic; missionary Jean Paulite runs seven area churches and trains men as ministers and teachers; the team will expand his mission house to lodge trainees (about 30 at a time). The hosts quiz Dan Hudson on where the Dominican Republic is.

Funding the trip: $1,200 per person, $600 to go

Fundraising: the trip costs about $1,200 per person (plane tickets, mission house, translator, transportation); Kelly has raised close to $300 and needs about $600 more by November 6. Donations go through pathonline.org's giving tab or the Pathway offering box marked 'Haitian Ministries' (not her name, for tax-deduction reasons). Comedy around a 'guilt plate' and mislabeled offering envelopes ('hot tamales').

Kelly's role: loving kids, following directions, visiting schools

What Kelly will actually do on the trip: she told the organizers she has no construction specialty but loves kids and people and follows directions well; the men on the team will minister to men while the three women travel to area schools. The local language is French Creole (with some Spanish).

Culture banter: hugs, gestures, and the slow stream

Culture banter: 'a hug is the same in all languages' is challenged (a basic hug is 'an assault in Burundi'), plus the peace sign in England and waving in France. The hosts apologize to the live chat for a slow stream and promise a full-quality rebroadcast and podcast.

GodIsImaginary proof 21: understand Jesus' core message

• Does the contradiction between Jesus' loving message and eternal punishment prove God is imaginary?

The hosts open week 21 of the GodIsImaginary.com '50 proofs' series: proof 21, 'understand Jesus' core message.' A host reads the proof's mock monologue ('Hello, my name is Jesus... I will incinerate you with unimaginably torturous pain in the fires of hell'), which cites John 6:53-54 and Mark 16:16 and argues the love-and-hell contradiction makes God imaginary.

Answering proof 21: love, justice, and the coffee-spill analogy

The hosts answer proof 21: one argues the proof misrepresents Jesus' message and only proves its author dislikes God. Ben tells the coffee-spill story (spilling coffee on the stairs and skipping cleanup) as an analogy for how people make excuses for sin rather than seeing it as God does, counters with a burning-house analogy and the gospel as love-plus-justice, and closes with a stop-sign analogy: disliking the sign doesn't make it imaginary.

Wrap on proof 21 and preview of proof 22

Wrap on proof 21: the tally stands at '20 really poor arguments and one half.' The hosts note that loaded words like 'murder' and purely emotional arguments reveal the author's character rather than proving anything, then preview proof 22 for next week: 'count all the people God wants to murder.'

Secular vs. Solomon: rules and jingle

Intro to Secular vs. Solomon: the game-master sings the jingle ('America's fastest-growing internet game show') and explains the rules — each proverb is either secular (worldly wisdom, with a country of origin to name) or Solomon (biblical). The players are Kelly, Dan Hudson, and Mike.

Round 1: Experience is the comb that nature gives us when we are bald

Round one: 'Experience is the comb that nature gives us when we are bald.' Dan Hudson guesses secular Dominican Republic, Kelly says secular, Mike says secular Chinese; the answer is secular Belgium. The group unpacks the meaning (hindsight is 20/20, too late for the bald man).

Round 2: Measure a thousand times and cut once

Round two: 'Measure a thousand times and cut once.' Kelly guesses secular (Ivory Coast), Mike guesses Solomon, Dan Hudson guesses secular via the 'Carpenters Union' (Soviet Union); the answer is secular Turkish. Union jokes and a fake hate-mail address throughout.

Rounds 3-4: Correcting scoffers and the rich man's many friends

Rounds three and four, both Solomon: 'Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury' (Proverbs 9:7, ESV) prompts scoffing demonstrations and British Parliament banter; 'The poor is disliked even by his neighbor, but the rich has many friends' (Proverbs 14:20) leads to a discussion of whether Solomon means money (yes) and Jesus' teaching on using wealth to make friends (with a Mary Baker Eddy joke).

Rounds 5-6: He who does not know one thing, and the pig and the mallet

Rounds five and six, both secular: 'He who does not know one thing knows another' (secular Kenya) and 'If you are a pig, endure the knocking; if you are a mallet, strike' (secular Morocco), with Kelly's geography guesses (North Korea, Scandinavia) and Mike's invented 'Porta Vareta.'

Final rounds: lips of the righteous through hungry pancake dreams

Final rounds: 'The lips of the righteous feed many' (Solomon, Proverbs 10:21), 'Whoever is slothful will not roast his game' (Solomon, Proverbs 12 — Mike guesses Ecclesiastes, Dan Hudson guesses Proverbs 24), 'A little sleep, a little slumber' (Solomon, Proverbs 6, debating 'fox' vs 'man'), and 'He who goes to bed hungry dreams of pancakes' (secular Malta). The game wraps.

Dear LFTP: dating a reformed robber

• How do I get past my boyfriend Jerry's criminal past?

Dear LFTP letter one: a woman dating Jerry — a reformed armed robber (unarmed, served time in prison, now reformed, college-educated, devoted father) — can't get past his past, though he doesn't know she knows. The hosts advise she must either forgive fully or bail: holding his past over him isn't fair, and they need an honest conversation about why he never told her. The 'secular answer' is read and mocked ('people don't lie, ever').

Dear LFTP: the karaoke DJ's jealous wife

• Should I keep going to karaoke after the DJ's wife confronted me?

Dear LFTP letter two: a grandmother who sings karaoke at an alcohol-free venue (with her husband's blessing) was confronted by the DJ's wife, who told her to stop singing with him and commenting on his Facebook page. The hosts advise her to keep going but stop singing with the DJ and respectfully decline — don't cause others to stumble — and riff on Facebook jealousy, joint couple accounts, and shared passwords.

Sign-off: Kevin Leninger next week, Petra concert after

Sign-off: the show airs live Monday nights 10-11 p.m. at livefromthepath.org, with the podcast on iTunes every Tuesday morning. Next week: Kevin Leninger in studio; the following Tuesday a live broadcast from the Petra concert.