October 1 2012

Cold open: brisk night, Brisk tea banter

The show opens from the Pathway Studios on a cold Monday night. A play on the word "brisk" turns into banter about Brisk iced tea, its Sylvester Stallone-style ad campaign, and whether the company was ever sued.

Guest welcome: Bob Eisenlauer and the candied apples

Guest Bob Eisenlauer is welcomed; he brought candied apples, prompting a joking comparison to a list of guests who bring nothing.

Tonight's agenda preview

The hosts preview the night: a "things heard on Christian radio" quiz, week 20 of the 50 proofs from GodIsImaginary.com (on the church), the 50-foot Jesus in Ohio, Dear LFTP advice, and the weekly "one thing you need to know."

Getting to know Bob: realtor stories and the power of listening

Bob Eisenlauer describes his nine years as a realtor, his father's 33 years in the business, and how listening to clients — lonely people who want to talk about their lives — builds trust. A co-host recounts how he bought a house through Bob with almost no help, and how a 25-minute break-room conversation with a coworker taught him to stop dodging people's stories. The hosts conclude you have to know someone before you can credibly talk to them about Jesus, then trade realtor jokes about elk-shaped holes, Jimmy Durante, and Jimmy Hoffa.

Quiz: things heard to raise money on Christian radio

• Which of these outrageous quotes was actually heard on a Christian radio fundraiser? (four rounds)

Four quiz rounds where the studio picks which outrageous quote was genuinely heard on a Christian radio fundraiser: "we are busy and don't have time to spread the gospel" (correct), a communal prayer for callers to "do the right thing and give generously," pledging money you don't have as "stepping forward in faith," and "$1,000 makes you an apostle" ($2,000: archangel). The invented decoy answers were written by a host; the real quotes all came from one station's two-week fundraiser.

Serious turn: giving under compulsion vs. cheerful generosity

The hosts critique the telethon's manipulative tactics — guilt, compulsion, "the Holy Spirit is leading you in this direction (and if not, you're not paying attention)". They argue God doesn't want money given under compulsion or guilt, that he owns everything anyway, and that tithing is a safeguard against worshiping money rather than a revenue target. If a ministry is truly from Jesus, he will fund it.

GodIsImaginary proof #20: church wealth

• Who is the GodIsImaginary.com author, and is his proof site sincere?
• Does the wealth and ornamentation of churches disprove the existence of God (proof #20)?

Week 20 of the 50 proofs: the site quotes Matthew 6:19, Luke 14:33, Matthew 6:24, Matthew 19:21, and Acts 2 to argue churches must sell everything and give to the poor, then contrasts that with Colonial Baptist Church's 33-acre campus (soccer field, indoor courts, buses) and the Vatican's gold, concluding God is imaginary. Bob asks who the site author is; the hosts describe him as a sincere atheist hurt by the church. They agree partially — wealth can become a distraction and people demand amenities (donuts, coffee, free childcare) before attending — but argue the verses are taken out of context, buildings can serve outreach, and poor followers don't disprove God.

Are we using God's money well? A tour of the studio

Challenged by the wealth discussion, the hosts ask whether their own show is a good use of God's money, then tour their bargain studio: a window taken from garbage, a bathroom sign bought for ten cents serving as the show logo, instruments nobody wanted on the wall, and a table found on the street.

Promo block and upcoming guests

Promo reads for the audio podcast and two YouTube channels, plus upcoming guests: Kevin Lindgren, Double J with new music, and Kelly Johnson (a missionary) in three weeks.

One thing you need to know: live your days like you want to live your life

• What one thing would you tell 10,000 people to guide their week?

The weekly "one thing": if an audience of 10,000 asked for one piece of advice, it would be to live each day the way you want to live your whole life — start today rather than banking on a thousand tomorrows. This applies to daily Bible reading (a co-host's life-transformation group requires 20–30 chapters a week; he moved from binge-reading to daily), prayer as ordinary conversation with "Dad" instead of performative prayer, and spiritually "putting on the armor of God" every morning like brushing your teeth. Daily immersion, they say, keeps the relationship with God from drifting.

Dear LFTP: the boyfriend who wants to be "selfish for a while"

• My boyfriend of one year says he needs to be selfish for a while and doesn't want me to wait — should I hold on?

A listener writes that her boyfriend of one year says he needs to focus on getting his life together, be "selfish for a while," and doesn't want her to wait — though he hopes they'll reunite. The studio is unsparing: he has spelled out that it's over, she should move on, and they argue over whether his father failed to teach her discernment. The Dear LFTP "secular answer" is read: when a man says he wants to focus only on himself, what he's really saying is it's over; don't expect to be together again anytime soon. A parody of "When a Man Loves a Woman" accompanies the reading.

Sign-off: thanks Bob, see you next week

The hosts thank Bob Eisenlauer for coming in, note there is no plan for next week yet, recap the upcoming Kevin Lindgren and Kelly Johnson guests, and sign off with download and YouTube reminders.