September 19 2011

Show open and introductions

A produced voiceover opens from the Pathway Studios in Johnston, followed by the host's live welcome. Ben introduces himself by name and notes that Gabe Van Orsten is with them this week. The host sets up the night's one-hour show.

Tonight's lineup: casting game, Pat Robertson, next week's guests

• What would you do if your spouse developed Alzheimer's?

With no musical guest tonight, the host previews the show: casting the twelve apostles as a game, a segment on Pat Robertson's divorce comments, and a possible full two-hour show next week with an interview of Jess and Jordan Anderson (the host twice mis-says 'Jared' before landing on Jordan). Chad, Dan, and Pants each have apostle-casting lists ready.

Announcements: Double J concert in Pleasant Hill

The hosts plug a Wednesday youth-rally show at Breen Assembly of God in Pleasant Hill by Double J, a musical guest from about a month back, with joking banter about who should attend, popcorn, and M&Ms. The segment closes the small talk before the game begins.

Casting Peter

• Which actors should be cast as the twelve apostles (plus John the Baptist and Matthias) in a Bible movie?

The apostle-casting game opens with Peter, described as an act-first fisherman who jumped in the water and ran into the tomb. Picks include Johnny Depp as his Pirates of the Caribbean character, Billy Crudup from the chat, Bob Ross floated as the gentle post-ascension Peter, and Mark Ruffalo from Pants's list. The hosts debate early-disciple Peter versus the later church-age Peter.

Casting Andrew

For Andrew, the lovable younger brother of Peter who first recognized Jesus as Messiah, Dan picks Gopher from The Love Boat for the fish-and-water connection, another host picks Milhouse from The Simpsons as the sharp kid overshadowed by his wilder brother, and Pants's list offers Mars Callahan. A chat suggestion of Whitey Herzog is rejected.

Casting James son of Zebedee and John

James and John, the 'sons of thunder' who wanted to call down fire, get action-oriented picks: Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Terminator for James and Nicolas Cage as Ghost Rider for John from Dan, while another host prefers a softer post-transformation John, casting James Van Der Beek and Elijah Wood. Pants's list offers Steven Campbell Moore and a garbled Amazing Grace actor. The hosts argue pre-Jesus versus following-Jesus versions.

Casting Philip

Philip, the low-profile apostle, sparks a strategy debate: draft a big box-office name (Brad Pitt) versus an everyman who would not overshadow the story (Greg Kinnear, praised for being unremarkable). Chat offers Sylvester Stallone and Steven Seagal; Pants's pick is Casey Affleck. The hosts joke about the budget and God owning the cattle on a thousand hills.

Casting Bartholomew

Bartholomew, a name everyone recognizes but cannot place, gets 'that guy' character-actor picks: Steven Tobolowsky (Ned Ryerson) from Dan and Paul Reiser, the likable everyman, from another host. Pants's list offers a garbled 'John Mighton,' Professor Lambeau from Good Will Hunting. The hosts detour into Paul Reiser's failed NBC pilot.

Casting Matthew

Matthew the tax collector is framed as a party-animal outcast with money, prompting a Charlie Sheen pick from Dan and debate over whether Matthew had class or was just a thief. Chat suggests Tony Danza, Gene Simmons, and Philip Seymour Hoffman; another host casts David Paymer as the man who buys his way into the lifestyle; Pants's pick is Oscar Isaac. The segment includes a mini-lesson on first-century tax farming for Rome.

Casting Thomas

Doubting Thomas, reframed as the apostle with questions who wanted details, gets Adrian Monk as Dan's pick and Maurice Gibb of the Bee Gees from Ben, who nails the twin requirement ('Stay alive'). Pants's pick is Rick Schroder. A host recaps the game so far for anyone just joining.

Casting James son of Alphaeus

For the little-known James son of Alphaeus, whose main trait is not being confused with the other James, Dan casts Tom Hanks as the everyman who can do something with nothing, while another host prefers Fred Savage as a supporting actor without the ego, and Pants's list offers Peter Halpin. Chat floats Bob Saget and Bill Withers.

Casting Thaddeus

Thaddeus (identified with Jude) gets pure ticket-draw picks: Ashton Kutcher from Dan and John Goodman from another host, who jokes about the shock of Goodman swearing-free. Pants's pick is Michael Rosenbaum. The segment detours into Amazing Grace, which one host found long but solid, noting Matt Redman's music in it.

Casting Simon the Zealot

Simon the Zealot, the war-faction rabble-rouser against Rome, gets Mel Gibson as Braveheart from Dan and Mr. Belvedere from another host, who frames him as the behind-the-scenes agitator in a sweater. Chat offers Peter Falk and Strom Thurman. The hosts riff on Mr. Belvedere and Family Affair nostalgia.

Casting Judas Iscariot

For Judas the creepy thief-traitor who sold Jesus for thirty coins, Dan makes the bold pick of Pee-wee Herman, arguing his creepiness would make the foot-washing scene unbearable. Another host counters with the Burger King as the smiling smooth operator; chat offers Steve Buscemi and Pants's list offers Rufus Sewell. The hosts agree you can never cheer for Judas on screen.

Bonus casting: John the Baptist and Matthias

As a bonus, the hosts cast the honey-eating, locust-licking, camel-hair-wearing John the Baptist: Nicolas Cage from Con Air, Oliver Platt, plus chat's wrestlers (Hulk Hogan, Iron Sheik), Kurt Russell, Seth Rogen, and Ted Danson. Dan casts Patrick Swayze from Ghost as Matthias, who appears once in Acts and is never mentioned again. A Des Moines River baptism bit and wild honey from Mike's house close the game.

Structuring the apostle movie

• Where should the apostle movie begin?
• Who is going to write the apostle movie's script?

With the cast done, the hosts plan the film: it should open at the wedding where Jesus turns water into wine, intercut with John the Baptist's imprisonment and beheading before Herod to create conflict, while Jesus stays in the background as the unknown carpenter's son. They need a Mary (mid-40s), a writer (Big Ron is volunteered), and joke about pitching the corrupt-free Iowa film tax credit program.

Pat Robertson's divorce advice

• Can a husband divorce his wife because she has Alzheimer's?

The hosts read a news item: televangelist Pat Robertson advised a husband that he may divorce his Alzheimer's-stricken wife, drawing criticism even from his theological allies. They call the advice terrible, argue the Bible permits divorce only for death (end of covenant) or adultery, reject the claim that Alzheimer's is a kind of death, and raise the marriage vow's 'in sickness and in health.'

Healthcare, charity, and the 'let him die' debate

• Should a man with no money to pay for medical care just be left to die?

Reacting to a Republican debate crowd cheering 'let him die' when asked whether an uninsured man should be left to die, the hosts call it unpatriotic and un-Christian, praise Ron Paul's answer that churches used to care for the sick, and debate government's role versus personal responsibility. One host, adopted, argues Americans owe each other care; the discussion lands on grace as unmerited favor and the 'teach a man to fish' principle.

Sign-off

The show closes with the weekly plug: every Monday night at 10, livefromthepath.org, and a newsletter the host jokes he will never send. A final gag pitches 'Step Up 5 of Jesus and the Dance Crew' before the goodbyes.