What The Hat

Show open, cowboy-hat comedy, and docket

The produced intro gives way to the host's live show start from the Pathway Studios in Johnston. Mike is wearing a cowboy hat brought in by in-studio visitor Connor Stone, and the hosts rib him about it while Dan arrives late from the state fair. The host reads the complaint line and sets the docket: AI Jesus chatbots, a church-size article, an Ask-the-Pastor question on Joan of Arc from the complaint line, Boova's two Genesis 30 questions, and Dear LFTP advice letters.

Tribute to Donald McCormick

The host marks sadness in the studio: Donald McCormick, the guest from the "Enter the McCormick" episodes who named "Enter the McCormick 2" himself, has died in the past week. The host recalls the candlelight vigil and funeral, describing Donald as someone who uniquely connected with people of all ages and activities, and resolves to be "a little bit more Donald" — a sinew of connection in his own community.

Church size: are churchgoers known by their pastor?

The hosts discuss Dan's article from carlvaders.com: most American churchgoers now attend large churches and, for the first time, the majority are not personally known by their pastor. Dan, preaching 41 years, says he has flipped on the megachurch model, calling large churches corporate entities where you pastor the staff, not the flock. The hosts weigh risks on both ends — insularity in small gatherings versus lost personal connection and accountability at scale — and cite Mark Driscoll and Mars Hill as what happens when a leader falls without relational accountability.

Profit-driven AI Jesus chatbots

The hosts react to a report on for-profit AI Jesus chatbots in South Africa — apps like Ask Jesus, Virtual Jesus, Jesus AI, Text With Jesus, and Ask Jesus run by companies such as Supreme Chaos and Cat Loaf Software. They note the chatbots adjust their theology to what is most popular, read the bots' differing answers on whether hell exists, and laugh at a Swiss church that installed an AI Jesus in a confession booth. The segment lands on the punchline that what helps is pastors who actually know their people.

Ask the Pastor: Joan of Arc and violence in God's name

• How should we think about Joan of Arc and claims of divine direction toward violence?

A complaint-line listener asks how to think about Joan of Arc, who claimed divine visions directing her to support Charles VII in war. The host gives her history — peasant girl, Hundred Years' War, siege of Orleans, capture and execution in 1431, canonization in 1920 — then the hosts wrestle with whether God would direct violence post-Jesus. They grant biblical precedent in the judges (Samson, Gideon) but note the New Testament record is short and cautious, warning that affirming the pattern risks opening the door for anyone to claim divine backing for political violence.

Ask the Pastor: Reuben's mandrakes in Genesis 30

• What is going on with Reuben's mandrakes in Genesis 30:14?

Boova brings his Genesis 30:14 question: Reuben brings mandrakes to Leah, Rachel trades a night with Jacob for them, and the hosts laugh through the "love apples" aphrodisiac research. They conclude the mandrakes are a narrative device — the point is God's faithfulness to Leah and Rachel, not the fruit — and note the story's focus is God blessing the women, with Jacob traded around like "a dude of the night."

Ask the Pastor: Jacob's sticks and the speckled flocks

• How did Jacob's sticks change the appearance of the flocks in Genesis 30?

Boova's second Genesis 30 question: how did Jacob's peeled poplar sticks change the flocks' coats? The hosts land on the sticks as a physical prayer-like act — poplar sticks cannot breed speckled sheep, so the visible mechanism lets everyone see Yahweh acting. The host adds that ancient Israel thought of God's relationship communally ("give us this day our daily bread"), not as modern individualized personal faith, cautioning against pulling a prosperity formula from the passage.

Dear LFTP: saying "I love you" too soon

• Is there a recommended timeframe for saying "I love you" in a new relationship?

Mike reads a letter from a man who reconnected with a woman he dated in the 1980s and told her he loved her too soon, then tried to walk it back to "caring and affection." The hosts roast him as a fifty-year-old high schooler, advise him to own what he said instead of playing political games with his feelings, and read the Secular answer: there is no timetable, take cues from her, and let the relationship progress at its own rate.

Dear LFTP: the outsider grandparent

• What should a grandparent who moved 2,000 miles and still feels like an outsider do?

Mike reads a letter from a single grandparent who moved 2,000 miles to be near the grandchildren but still feels like an outsider next to the daughter-in-law's parents. The hosts say the letter reads as "me, me, me" — the move was framed around the writer's joy, not the grandchildren's — and counsel patience and giving rather than expecting instant Instagram-worthy closeness. The Secular answer suggests talking to the son and, if unwelcome, moving somewhere the writer is wanted.

Outro and complaint line

The host thanks Connor Stone for coming in, reads the Bob Eisenlauer complaint line (515) 517-0085, and signs off with "be faithful in the means; God will handle the ends."