The Peruvian Gambling Ring

Show open: Mike is out, Ethan Huffy in studio

Ben opens from the Pathway Studios in Johnston proper and sets the docket: in-studio guest Ethan Huffy will share his Peru mission trip, plus Secular vs Solomon and Dear LFTP advice. Mike is absent, which the hosts note with jokes about him likely doing something inappropriate in absentia. Boova, Dan, and Ben's daughter Emma (keeping game score) round out the room.

Graphic-tee stories and the complaint line

A host tells stories about graphic tees inviting unwanted conversations, including a NASA shirt that drew a stranger's long story about NASA stickers on street signs, and a teenage-era shirt reading 'I beat anorexia' worn at 350 pounds. Listeners are invited to send shirt-regret photos to the Bob Eisenlauer complaint line at (515) 517-0085.

Ethan Huffy's Peru trip: how he got there

Ben introduces Ethan Huffy, in studio, and asks how he ended up on a mission trip to Peru; Ethan says his mom effectively signed him up. The pastor of Grace Church leads groups every other year to hike the Andes into remote villages, hand out Bibles, and preach. The hosts tease that the trip 'resolved in some sort of Peruvian gambling ring' and tell Ethan to watch for the subtext.

Village ministry: Jesus film, missionaries, Quechua Bible

Ethan describes flying into Lima, an eight-hour bus ride to Huaraz, and hiking into mountain villages of 100-200 people with missionaries Rachel (formerly of Ohio) and Adi and an organization called AWI that translated the whole Bible into Quechuan. Nights meant setting up a screen and showing the Jesus film in the local language, handing out Bibles, preaching, and singing. Villagers, surprised to see white visitors, photographed the group as the 'gringos' walked by. Language was a barrier: Ethan's classroom Spanish failed in mountain dialect, and Emma Fust compares it to her Dominican Republic trip where she leaned on Google Translate.

Show llamas, donkeys, and the unrepentant llama

The trek brought two donkeys and two llamas that carried nothing and existed purely as 'beasts of attraction' to draw villagers' attention; one llama was naughty and roamed free unleashed. The hosts riff on the free-roaming animal as the 'unrepentant' or 'dirty' llama that needs to be baptized again, a running joke for the rest of the interview.

Reverence for Scripture and Yapo the Quechua translator

Ethan says the villages' eagerness for their own Bibles struck him, and Dan cites the psalm about the soul panting for God and Scripture being sweet as honey, contrasting it with how casually Americans treat 17 household Bibles. Ben recalls a stressful season when he only wanted to hear the words of Jesus. The hosts marvel at AWI's finished Quechua translation and at Yapo, the roughly 70-year-old translator who traveled with the trek and handed a lifetime of work to villagers reading Jesus's words in their childhood language for the first time.

The Peruvian plunge: Dave's $50 glacier-water bet

Asked about the 'gambling,' Ethan explains a fellow traveler named Dave offered him $20 to lie down fully in a freezing glacier runoff stream, which escalated to about $50 with others piling on in dollars and soles; Ethan and Dave both did it, then ran downstream to dunk in a shoulder-deep pool, and Ethan found two worms on himself while changing. Dan jokes that worms are how Herod got his, and the hosts briefly tangle over whether it was Herod Antipas or Herod Agrippa (Acts 12:23, Agrippa) before moving on.

Takeaways: gratitude, Jesus tourism, and long-term hope

• What from the Peru trip do you want to take with you or remember?

Ethan says he wants to carry home gratitude for what Americans take for granted. Ben reflects on his Ethiopia trip and the value of short-term missions as a shock out of 'Jesus tourism' into sympathy for people whose circumstances limit their choices. Boova confesses his childhood Rosebud reservation trip changed nothing about him afterward, while his later Philippines work trip taught him a hopefulness rooted in God's power rather than his own. Dan describes years of layered work in Zimbabwe, including an orphanage school whose needs they now fund directly, and says he is more hopeful today than when he started.

Emma's Dominican Republic takeaway and soccer with the kids

• Would you recommend going on a short-term mission trip?

Emma Fust says she expected poverty from others' trip stories and resisted the urge to purge half her belongings afterward, but was struck by the joy and normalcy of the kids at VBS. Ethan adds that playing soccer with village kids, who were quite good, was a highlight despite the language barrier. Ethan recommends the trip to anyone who hasn't done missions work, and the hosts close the interview joking that trip prep means squats for the ladies because sometimes all you get is a hole in the cement.

Secular vs Solomon: rules and scorekeeping

Ben launches 'America's fastest growing Internet game show,' Secular vs Solomon, explaining the premise: a proverb is read and players must say whether it is biblical (Solomon, broadly the Bible's wisdom) or secular, naming the country of origin for secular ones. With Mike absent, Emma Fust keeps score, and Dan is told he must answer in the accent of whatever country he guesses.

Game rounds: mosquito, Proverbs 13:5, hope deferred

Round one, 'a mosquito thinks it can drink up a river,' is secular Burundi. Round two, 'The righteous hates falsehood, but the wicked brings shame and disgrace,' is Solomon, Proverbs 13:5 (Dan's guess of 23:12 misses). Round three, 'Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life,' is Solomon, Proverbs 13:12, with a detour through Genovia from The Princess Diaries.

Game rounds: butter, wine, Proverbs 13:18

Round four, 'He who has butter on his head should not stand in the sun,' is secular Netherlands after guesses spanning Scotland, Kansas tribes, Ecuador, and Norway. Round five, 'When the wine goes in, strange things come out,' is secular South Africa. Round six, 'Poverty and disgrace come to him who ignores instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is honored,' is Solomon, Proverbs 13:18, prompting a joke about the Septuagint being retranslated from Latin back into Greek by a drunk.

Game finale: Proverbs 14, Zulu cooking pot, final scores

After an 'Ew... more about ladies' preamble and a 'hello, ladies' work-meeting bit, 'The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down' is Solomon, Proverbs 14:1. 'In a multitude of people is the glory of a king, but without people, a prince is ruined' is Solomon, Proverbs 14:28, with a Monty Python aside. 'Even the best cooking pot will not produce food' is secular Zulu (South Africa). Emma wins with roughly 500 points, Ethan close behind at 490, Dan at 350, and Boova in last at negative 200.

Dear LFTP: the dating red-flag letter

• I ghosted a pushy date who won't stop contacting me and feel guilty ignoring him — what should I do?

Boova reads a letter from a woman who, after coming out of her introvert shell, dated a man who showed red flags from the first date, pushed to get her alone, ignored her stated health problems, and after she faded out began contacting her on every social media app, phone, and email. She feels guilty ignoring him. The hosts advise her to be explicit rather than fade: tell him directly she is not interested and to stop contacting her, since clarity also documents a stalking case if needed; Emma suggests 'you're weird, I'm sick, bye bye.' The secular answer calls ghosting bad form, prescribes a clear text or email telling him to stop, and says if he persists she may have a stalker and should file a police report.

Dear LFTP: the son's fiancee and her boring stories

• Our son is engaged to a woman our family can't stand because of her endless boring stories — any suggestions?

A parent writes that their son is engaged to a woman the whole family can't stand because she turns every conversation into long, boring stories about her aunt, cousin, and friends; the daughters want the parents to tell him not to marry her. Emma advises not breaking the engagement, suggesting either easing the pressure to make conversation or giving her more interesting experiences to talk about. The secular answer warns that telling the son to break up will almost certainly offend him and alienate the couple, and instead suggests a private talk with the son noting his fiancee's speeches are losing her audience.

Dear LFTP: the nosy concierge with the master key

• My apartment concierge used a master key to enter my home and management rehired her — what would you do?

A letter signed 'invaded in Georgia' describes an apartment concierge who gossips, lies, falsely accused the writer of sexual impropriety and drug use, sent unsigned accusatory texts, and once used a master key to enter the apartment while the writer was home; she was fired but rehired temporarily. The hosts suggest a travel doorstop for when home, a cheap camera, and Emma threatens legal action against the complex. The secular answer prescribes documenting every incident with dates, escalating to the property owner or management company, reporting to police if ineffective, consulting an attorney, and considering a move. Ben closes with a story about reporting bedbugs to an indifferent hotel desk clerk.

Outro: feedback plea and thanks to Ethan

Ben wraps the show, inviting feedback on the Bob Eisenlauer complaint line at (515) 517-0085 and asking for photos of listeners' shirt mistakes, while warning to keep it appropriate. He thanks Ethan Huffy for coming on and leaves the door open for him to return for future advice segments.