One and Three

Abandoned special: guest co-host joins

The host opens alone from the Pathway Studios in Johnston proper, reporting that every regular — Mike, Dan, Buva, and Nathaniel — found something better to do. He introduces Emma Foust in studio and sets the special format: one big question and three Dear LFTP advices.

Big question: when did your faith become yours?

• When did your faith become your own rather than just something you learned from your parents or community?

The host asks the big question: is there a time Emma can remember when her faith became hers rather than something learned from parents or community? Emma says it has happened multiple times — seeing God move, and a summer Experiencing God study with friends that reframed her view: God is always moving, and the work is learning to see it.

The host's own faith becoming his in his late twenties

The host reflects that his own faith probably didn't become his until his late twenties. Growing up gives facts — fine for a season — but if faith never becomes experienced, deeper or alternative facts can shake it. Seeing the Holy Spirit move makes doubt-resistance different: interacting with God rather than pressing buttons like a machine.

Baptism, and the 'if it's your will' prayer hedge

• How do I pray honestly instead of hedging every request with 'if it's your will'?

Emma recalls her baptism four years ago — she believed then what she believes now, but cringes at who she was. She admits she still prays like she hasn't learned the study: asking God to bless or move, then tacking on 'if it's your will' so she doesn't seem to be pressuring God — which feels fake because it is.

Asking for righteous things without boxing God in

The host responds to Emma's prayer habit: it's still appropriate to ask for blessing on righteous things — healing, mended relationships, a contested piece of property kept whole — but outcomes aren't guaranteed, and we shouldn't box God into one acceptable answer. Like asking a father: he may say yes, no, or trust me — and God almost never answers the way people prayed, but better or differently.

Emma's question: are you ever afraid to pray?

• Do you ever feel afraid to pray because of what could happen, and how do you get out of that cycle?

Emma asks whether the host ever feels afraid to pray because of what it could put into motion — and how to get out of that cycle.

Entrusting each child, and the prayers we avoid

The host says yes: after each of his kids was born, within a week he prayed 'God, I trust this child to you' — and felt the weight of recognizing God's purposes can put idealized family plans at risk, and that teaching his children a faith he can't fully prove felt heavy. He's also avoided praying when he didn't want God to make obvious that he owed someone amends; every time he prayed into it anyway, freedom and reconciliation followed.

Emma's parallel: praying about fading friendships

• How do I tell the difference between my own guilt and God nudging me to say something?

Emma shares her own version: praying for childhood friendships while fearing the answer meant letting them go — which ultimately happened, and brought relief. She also describes the mental loop of praying while bracing for what obedience might demand, and struggling to tell her own guilt apart from God nudging her.

Discerning the voice: the angel-devil cartoon in your head

The host answers the guilt-vs-nudge question with freedom-through-honesty: in trusted relationships, holding things back holds part of yourself back. He confesses his own discernment problem — praying, getting an answer in his 'mind voice,' then immediately the exact opposite — and coping by asking God to tell his wife too or send someone else, since his innards aren't trustworthy.

Reverse-psychology thinking and worst-case prayers

• Is suffering and going through hard things worth the good that comes out of it?

Emma describes her reverse-psychology thought cycle: hoping something good will happen feels like it guarantees it won't; dreading something bad feels like it guarantees it will. It ties into her prayer fears — like the mission-trip trip where her mom played a song about worship through sorrow and Emma's brain went straight to her mom dying. She trusts God's power to enact things but struggles to trust his goodness.

Suffering, character, and the weed-whacking analogy

• Is suffering and going through hard things worth the good that comes out of it?

The host engages Emma's core doubt: is suffering worth the good that comes out of it? God isn't buying perseverance by hurting people — human suffering is reality, and he can use it for good; it's more call to repentance than punitive lesson. Emma parallels chores: her mom's weed-whacking orders aren't character-building punishment — the yard just needs done. Neither parents nor God are constantly thinking negatively about your character; they first and foremost love you.

Listener callout and the complaint line

Wrapping the big question, the host asks listeners whether they've prayed fearfully and when their faith became theirs, giving the complaint line (515) 517-0085 for call or text.

Dear LFTP: grandma versus the lying granddaughter

• My 14-year-old granddaughter lies to me with a straight face for fun — what should I do?

A grandmother writes that her 14-year-old granddaughter lies to her with a straight face for fun — claiming a Hawaii trip, then Tourette's — which stung extra because the grandmother had epilepsy as a teen. Emma advises the granddaughter's lies aren't outrageous enough to be funny and grandma needs thicker skin; the host agrees adults shouldn't let children push their buttons, and lying breaks trust — though he wouldn't pull the yard-work arrangement punitively. The Secular answer suggests telling the granddaughter the grandma bought Taylor Swift or Harry Styles concert tickets, then laughing when she reacts.

Dear LFTP: the 57-year-old single woman and 'dumb' men

• Why are the men I meet just plain dumb, and how do I find a good one at 57?

A 57-year-old single woman asks why the men she meets are 'just plain dumb' — emotionally unavailable or available but underwhelming in bed. Emma says the woman sounds hard to deal with and defines two kinds of male dumbness (funny teenage dumb vs. can't-hold-a-conversation dumb). The host notes promiscuity attracts the wrong men, the pond and the bait both matter, and the love-and-trust part will fix the rest. Emma, in Dan's chair, adds: get Jesus in the middle of the relationship. The Secular answer suggests men aren't dumb, just socially declining — volunteer, take a class, communicate what she needs.

Dear LFTP: the 16-year-old struggling to make friends

• I'm a 16-year-old girl who struggles to have a social life and has anxiety — how can I approach people and make friends?

A 16-year-old girl who doesn't connect with kids her age, whose friends vanished after COVID, and whose anxiety and non-native English make approaching people hard, asks for advice. Emma relates from homeschool life: her co-op lunch-table story — she ate alone until basketball girls invited her to sit with them, and she kept declining until she accepted — plus relying on church friends rather than chasing a crowd, and being herself so people can see her. The host adds: rejecters are jerks you don't want anyway, high-school barriers are fake, join things you enjoy, get a part-time job, compliment people — and church communities welcome you.

Outro: feedback line and benediction

The host closes the special show, asking for feedback on this week's answers and advice via the Bob Eisenlauer complaint line at (515) 517-0085, and signs off with the standing benediction: be faithful in the means, God will handle the ends.