The Tennessee Birdwalk

Show open: guilty-pleasure songs

• Are there songs you like that nobody else likes?

The hosts open by asking what songs each of them likes that nobody else likes. Answers include the 1970 novelty hit the Tennessee Birdwalk, Mongolian throat singing from The Hu, Danny Kaye's Wilhelmina, and Mark Knopfler's Gravy Train. The exchange is pure comedy banter before the docket.

Communion on the moon

A host shares an article listing things to know about the communion service on the moon: in 1969 Buzz Aldrin, an elder at Webster Presbyterian Church, took communion during the first lunar landing, as a symbol that God reveals himself in the common elements of everyday life. The room riffs on the image of Walker on the Moon as a Tennessee Birdwalk code name.

Bible pulled from Utah school bookshelves

A headline that the Bible was removed from Utah elementary and middle school bookshelves for sex and violence gets the hosts riffing: Lot's wife, Sodom and Gomorrah, and whether anyone would hand a seven-year-old the whole Bible and say go to town. One girl argues the book was pulled for reasons that are actually in the text, while a host notes disappointment at what remained on the shelf.

The spiritual battle of teen screen time

• What does a healthy relationship with your phone look like for teens and adults?

Prompted by a Christianity Today piece on the spiritual battle of teen screen time, the hosts talk with the two girls about phones. One host frames Luddite tendencies in the room; Emma recounts a two-week stretch with her phone kept downstairs that changed her patience with siblings; the girls push back that phones serve real creative work like writing and music. The room cites Surgeon General Vivek Murthy's report on social media and child mental health, Montana's TikTok ban, and lands on a signature line: the phone is the new drunkenness.

Intentionality: consumer versus producer

The hosts and girls work out the real line with phones: it is when the thing starts owning you. Examples stack up — looking up drawing references is productive, while scrolling Pinterest leaves you feeling worse about yourself; one host confesses he is a twenty-five-of-thirty coworkers situation of his own. A girl notes the anxiety may be doubled by every older generation's judgment of phone use, while a host is more frustrated by his own generation's addiction.

Lists, plans, and discipline as a skill

• How do you build discipline in ordinary life?

The conversation turns to planning: a girl hates lists because making one feels like admitting she already failed the task, and planned fun feels boxed in. The hosts answer with the Franklin Planner big-rocks-and-little-rocks metaphor and the make-your-bed school of discipline. Discipline is framed as a skill, not a talent: small repeated acts like mowing the yard, vacuuming, and checking tire pressure build the capacity for bigger ones.

Spiritual disciplines: the little things that add up

The hosts connect everyday discipline to spiritual practice: fasting (one host is restarting a fast with 35 people signed up), and actually praying rather than claiming a prayer life. One host describes being raised with zero discipline and still fighting it as an adult; another teaches the disciplines because teaching them keeps him committed. The through line: disciplines, not mountaintop experiences, guide you into connection with God.

Fear, guilt, self-deprecation, and identity

• How should Christians handle guilt and self-deprecation without excusing sin?

The room digs into why failure over little things feels crushing: self-imposed expectations versus rightful ones, and the guilt that follows addiction relapses. One girl notes she is a fifteen-year-old holding herself to a forty-year-old's standard. The hosts land on identity language spoken directly to the girls: God does not depreciate your value, and being a loved child of God means the fight is just normal living, not a fight to belong. Grace does not remove the call to grow.

Dear LFTP: the super-sensitive six-year-old

• Is six too young to be introduced to the subject of drugs and alcohol?
• Is the grandson overly sensitive, and should the family worry?

A grandparent writes about a sensitive six-year-old grandson who has cyclical vomiting syndrome, a restricted diet, and cried at school after a magician's drug-and-alcohol dangers presentation, asking whether the material came too early and whether the boy is too sensitive. The hosts debate coddling versus sensitivity, kids going through phases, and the 'am I raising a sissy' self-check for parents. The girls' verdict: leave him alone and give him a few years.

Dear LFTP: attacked by dogs on the trail

• What should I do about dogs attacking me on my walking trail?

A small older woman writes that off-leash dogs keep jumping on and biting her on her walking trail, asking how to address dog owners in a friendly yet firm manner. The hosts give practical advice: you cannot move the ten thousand people, so walk a different trail if safety is the real worry. The Secular answer is read aloud: carry pepper spray or bear spray and use it on the dog, and again when the owner shows up — sparking a long comedy riff about bear-spray justice and branded bear spray.

Outro and complaint line

The show closes with the Bob Eisenlauer complaint line, (515) 517-0085, the show email, and a note that there will be no show next week.