We Ate The Locusts

Show open: Nathaniel plays the role of Mike Foust

The show opens live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston proper. Mike is out of town, so Nathaniel, present in the studio, is announced as playing the role of Mike Foust. Brief cold-open banter precedes the docket.

Biblical Protein teaser and the diciest foods ever eaten

Nathaniel received the Biblical Protein jar of locusts and honey, ordered weeks earlier when the protein bars were sold out, setting up a live taste test later in the show. The hosts first trade stories of the diciest things they have ever eaten: one host recounts Zimbabwe and China dishes; another recounts balut, pig-cheek sausage, and pig's face in a Filipino karaoke room; Nathaniel names gas-station sushi and a Burger King burrito; Dan recalls hot dogs rolled in butter and sugar as a kid.

I went to church in the metaverse: article read-through

• Can church work in the metaverse, and what would legitimate virtual ministry look like?

A host reads from an article by a woman who bought a Meta Quest 2 headset and visited three VR church campuses: Life.Church VR (Craig Groeschel's campus, with Herbert Cooper's prerecorded message on feeling abandoned by God and VR campus pastor Steven Roberts), Lakeland Community Church (Stuart McPherson's waterfront campus), and Faith Church in Missouri (Obed Martinez preaching 'your condition is not your conclusion'). The hosts note the streamed-video campuses felt better staffed than the generic AltSpace-style room.

Metaverse ministry debate: engagement, anonymity, and evangelism

The hosts debate what virtual ministry could actually be: a passive broadcast deserves no attention, but a forum where people can engage in real give-and-take is worth doing. A host addressed as Dan wants Jesus-style interaction with questioners, including challenging them. They read the article author's faith-forum account — a debate between a Christian and a former-Christian Muslim woman, two young men frustrated that God only answers silence, and her testimony that she trusts lived experience over logic — and conclude VR works best as a mission field for mature believers, not as a church, since anonymity can bring out both the worst and genuine curiosity.

M.I.A. says she became a born-again Christian after a vision of Jesus

A host reads a report that mainstream artist M.I.A., the 'Paper Planes' singer, says a 2017 vision of Jesus Christ turned her world upside down and made her a born-again Christian, telling Zane Lowe on Apple Music that she will tell the truth even if it costs her career because her fan base is largely progressives who oppose belief in Jesus. The hosts find the story interesting and move on.

Live Biblical Protein locust-and-honey taste test

The locust taste test happens on-air: the dried locusts smell like vitamins and fish food. Dan abstains, saying he is fasting locusts. Two hosts, including one addressed as Ben, eat whole locusts dunked in Israeli honey and describe them as mild and chip-like but hard to chew. Emma, a young person present, tries one with a lighter honey dip and reports it tastes like a bug. The hosts do not regret it but decline seconds.

Past guest asks to be disassociated from an old episode

A host shares that this is the second time it has happened: someone who was on the show in the past asked to have their name disassociated from the episode because they are in the real world now and professionally it is unhelpful to appear as a top Google result tied to a nine-year-old show. The host removed the name tag and notes the episode itself stays up.

Dear LFTP: 58-year-old's boyfriend demands she pay off his car

• My boyfriend demands I pay off his car and guilt-trips me when I refuse; what should I do?

A letter from a 58-year-old woman: her boyfriend, learning she has money to live comfortably on, asked her to pay off his car, and now refuses to answer the phone because she said no. She suspects he is using her but fears being lonely. The hosts unanimously say he does not love her, he is a freeloading child, and she should end it — loneliness is a false dichotomy with plenty of better options. The Secular answer agrees: kick him to the curb and do not look back.

Dear LFTP: husband drinking until 6AM with friends' sister

• My husband drinks until 6AM with three brothers and their sister; how should I handle it?

A letter from a wife: her husband hangs out with three brothers who drink, and their sister sometimes joins; he was out from 11PM to 6AM drinking and partying, and ignores her concerns. The hosts say the combination of drinking, another woman, late nights, and ignoring the wife's stated boundary is the problem — stop going, or go as a couple. A host addressed as Dan admits hypocrisy by way of his own Monday nights with the guys and his all-night VR zombie session, but notes his wife never objected; the group lands on not putting oneself in a position to do irreversible damage. The Secular answer is looser, suggesting she may be overreacting.

Dear LFTP: fiancee demands to vet the wedding guest list

• My son's fiancee demands to approve my wedding guest list; how do I respond?

A letter from a mother: her son's fiancee demanded the family guest list so she can decide whom to invite, saying she does not want people there who mean nothing to her, though there is no venue cap. The hosts say this is the son's problem — he must go to bat for his family, and at minimum coach her to cite a guest limit. A wedding is also for the families celebrating the couple; unless guests are genuine troublemakers, mom should invite who she wants, and more people means more fun and more gifts. The Secular answer suggests bringing the son into the conversation with an annotated guest list.

Complaint line and outro: Mike out again next show

The hosts plug the Bob Eisenlauer complaint line, (515) 517-0085, asking for listener calls about the grossest things they have ever eaten, with enough detail to enjoy the story. They note Mike will likely be out of town for the next show too, but may join via the miracles of the digital age. Closing charge: be faithful in the means, God will handle the ends.