Jesus and the Metaverse

Cold open: armpit shaving and deodorant banter

The show opens live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston Proper with an extended comedy riff about a host being urged to shave his armpits, his wife calling his pit hair eyelids, and a debate over spray versus roll-on deodorant that detours into CFCs and a Judas joke.

Docket: kids staying in church, and the metaverse

• What helps kids stay in the church as they mature?
• Will the metaverse eat the megachurch?

A host lays out the two topics: an infographic Nathaniel found claiming 75 percent of kids leave the church between 18 and 29 (and five reasons the 25 percent stay), and a Christian Post article asking whether the metaverse will eat the megachurch.

What even is the metaverse?

The hosts puzzle through the metaverse from zero — whether it is like the Sims, who owns it, digital assault and tripping people's avatars, virtual real estate sales, churches holding services inside Fortnite, and the notion that to the extent you invest yourself in a digital experience it will feel like a personal violation.

Reading the Christian Post metaverse article

• Will the metaverse eat the megachurch?

A host reads the Christian Post piece on the metaverse and the megachurch: pre-pandemic only 22 percent of pastors livestreamed their full service, the 2021 state of church technology report, and Facebook representative Siobhan Lewis describing the metaverse as the successor to the mobile internet.

The livestream dies; show goes audio-only

The live video feed glitches out mid-show, so the hosts cut the streamers loose with a "Metatriptus" joke and continue recording audio-only, noting the classic Life From The Path way of technology failing on its face.

The metaverse groping problem

• Is virtual harassment, such as digital groping, the same as real-world sexual harassment?

The hosts dig into a technologyreview.com article reporting that the metaverse "has a groping problem already": Aaron Stanton's 2016 Quiver account of being virtually groped by another player, Ohio State researcher Jesse Fox on virtual harassment, and a long debate over whether digital groping is the same as real-world sexual harassment or whether calling it that cheapens the real thing.

Immersion, emotional reality, and analogies

The discussion continues through University of Washington researcher Catherine Cross on VR tricking the nervous system, a story of an apartment break-in where intruders only took butter from the fridge as an analogy for digital-space violation, and puppet/effigy analogies — including a joke about burning a "Ben Foust" effigy at a football rally.

Physical existence remains the real one

A host lands the priority: physical existence is the de facto reality — you craft the other one, "you've become god of your own universe in there, but there is still a god of this universe here of which you submit," and whatever happens in the digital world does not follow you before the real God.

Church in the metaverse: VR Church

The hosts read about Sheryl Sandberg's hope that churches host services in virtual reality and Bishop DJ Soto, who left megachurch ministry in 2016 to lead VR Church, a congregation that exists entirely in the metaverse — and ask whether giving can be generous and ministry tangible when nothing physical changes hands.

Pushback: the devil, the plug, and China

The article's skeptics get a hearing: G. Craig Lewis of the Adamant Believers Council warns the devil is forcing everyone to the bottleneck of the internet and can pull the plug, pointing to China where Jesus cannot be mentioned online — against the VR Church's defense that digital spaces reach people who will never enter a physical church.

Augmentation versus replacement

The hosts sharpen the line: online posturing lets people falsely represent themselves, and a depressed friend can be seen in person but hidden online. The crystallizing rule: "If you can be digitally groped, that's replacement, not augmentation."

Tower of Babel and the god of your own universe

The metaverse arc closes theologically: building your own universe is Tower of Babel territory, the coming philosophy is man becoming his own god, and the virtual self-improvement is a placebo — the best humanity can come up with never sustains joy, which is why Christ is the only way that holds.

Dear LFTP: should I give up on my estranged son?

• Should I just give up on my estranged son?

A letter from a mother whose 30-year-old son, alienated by his father and stepmother and struggling with alcohol and marijuana, visits twice a year with underlying hostility: should she give up? The hosts say his choices are his own, write the letter saying what needs saying, own your part — and the Secular answer says let go and let God.

Dear LFTP: a Passover cake for Jewish neighbors

• Should I bake a Passover cake for my Jewish neighbors, ask first, or just send a greeting?

Retirees ask whether to bake a Passover cake for their nice Jewish neighbors, just send a card, or ask first. The hosts say go talk to them — the conversation is the surprise — while noting kosher-kitchen complications; the Secular answer agrees a card first is the better way.

Dear LFTP: Greg's three-day sleep episodes

• How should I view my boyfriend Greg's three-day sleep episodes and verbal abuse?

A divorced single mom writes about Greg, her boyfriend of two months, who falls into three-day sleeps, misses work, and turns verbally abusive during episodes. The verdict is immediate — "You need to leave" — with medical-or-drug-use suspicion, a warning about her teenage son, and the Secular answer agreeing the relationship must end without intervention.

Outro: complaint line and Dan's metaverse assignment

The show closes with the Bob Eisenlauer complaint line (515) 517-0085, a plan to check in next week on Dan's foray into virtual church, a note that keeping kids in the church and the virtual-church question may be one and the same conversation, and the "be faithful in the means; God will handle the ends" benediction.