Fake Persecution and Tripping Millennials

The show is getting harder to put on

A host opens from the Pathway Studios in Johnston proper and says the show is getting harder to put on because the news stories no longer pique his interest — he pulls a lot from the Christian Post but finds it full of political stories, problem church leaders, persecution claims, and overenthusiastic actor-loves-Jesus pieces that feel manufactured and disassociated from his reality. The other hosts agree it feels like clickbait with a Christian flavor.

The Canadian pastor who warned 'you're next'

The hosts discuss a Christian Post article about a Canadian pastor arrested at an airport who warned Americans 'you're next.' They contrast his posturing with Polycarp, who took his arrest with dignity — prayed, fed the guards, and went to his death. A host notes the Jewish example of enduring Roman oppression without the 'how dare you oppress me' posture common in the West.

Two warrants, 21 days, and 'take your punishment'

A host reads the article's details: the pastor was arrested on two outstanding warrants — one for not wearing a face mask, another for holding a church service — and faces 21 days in jail. The hosts argue this is not Christian persecution since Hindus, Girl Scouts, and bake sales all faced the same restrictions; it is a political problem. Their rule: if you knowingly break the law for conscience, take the punishment without complaint — Paul's example, never fighting the arrest. An underground-church worker in China who cheerfully accepted periodic interrogation is held up as the contrast.

Twelve stumbling blocks, part one: money

• Do the twelve stumbling blocks line up with what we are seeing in the church?

A host introduces an op-ed listing twelve stumbling blocks to the gospel for millennials (born 1981–1996 — 'that's Mike and I') and the hosts begin working through them. Number one is an overemphasis on money: thirty-minute offerings, three offerings per service, and the awkwardness of putting a plate before a visitor — compared to inviting someone to grandma's Thanksgiving and asking for a tip. They agree a good theology of money and transparency about where it goes defuses most suspicion.

Twelve stumbling blocks, part two: lifestyle, scandals, hypocrisy

The hosts cover stumbling blocks two through four. Two: the lavish lifestyle of pastors and leaders — know your surroundings, model simplicity. Three: scandals — leaders without boundaries in finances and personal life are ripe for public scandal, and every scandal hands unbelievers an excuse not to repent. Four: duplicitous behavior — 'giant' and not millennial-specific; the solve is humility, telling your kids you are walking faithfully but imperfectly, because people can smell fakery.

Twelve stumbling blocks, part three: religious titles

Number five is religious titles — 'the right reverend Dan Hudson' is read as a joke example. Dan self-identifies on-air: 'I feel goofy calling myself pastor... I'm just Dan. I'm just Dan.' The hosts are ambivalent: titles can be self-validating, but they also signal that someone has done the work; a doctorate on a biblical scholar is welcome, though commentaries that cite a 1978 Paulson paper without explaining it are useless to actual readers.

Twelve stumbling blocks, part four: religious language

Number six is religious language — the article says to 'think biblically but speak secularly,' using the phrase 'language of Babylon,' which the hosts mock as itself incomprehensible religious jargon. Their revision: religious language is fine as long as it is well defined. They argue for teaching biblical terms with definitions — the Hebrew name of Jesus was Yehoshua, amen means 'so be it,' hallelujah means 'praise Yahweh' — and warn against dumbing things down: people find the real definitions fascinating, and kids can handle Jonah chapter four unsoftened.

Twelve stumbling blocks, part five: images of power

Number seven is religious images of power. The hosts agree thrones on church stages should be thrown away, then expand into a millennial theory: the generation is wary of being advertised to and manipulated, so a fog machine reads as manipulation — unless the leader feels down-to-earth and trustworthy, in which case the fog is just good production. They puzzle over Hillsong's success on this theory and note Carl Lentz's leather jacket and sneakers made him feel real. Advice: don't bat above your grade; do humbly the best you can.

Twelve stumbling blocks, part six: religious behavior and rituals

Number eight is religious behavior — too many protocols and rituals scare newcomers into thinking they must become religious robots. The hosts push back on 'it's a relationship not a religion,' citing James's definition of true religion as serving the poor. Prayer itself is the weirdest thing a church does to an outsider, they admit, but you don't stop praying — you show them. A Christmas mass anecdote about a sword-carrying 'knight of the sacrament' guarding communion illustrates the rule: explain your rituals (like the Kentucky Catholic funeral program did) or stop doing them.

Twelve stumbling blocks, part seven: territory and programs

Numbers nine and ten: territorial emphasis over kingdom focus, and programs over people. The hosts say building projects can serve the community but must be explained — 'if it's righteous, they won't mind' — and argue the deeper issue is whether people do the hands and feet of God without the church banner in front of them. On programs, they defend the category while insisting programs be audited yearly: is it doing what it intended, and does it lean on the assembly line instead of one-on-one discipleship? 'Don't throw the baby out with the bath water.'

Twelve stumbling blocks, part eight: triumphalism and authenticity

• In the New Testament do we see triumphant, conquest-style posturing in the spreading of the good news?

Numbers eleven and twelve: triumphalism — prayers about 'taking cities back for God' sound like conquest, and the hosts contrast 'we're gonna tear this town up for Jesus' with 'I've been praying that Jesus tears this town up,' since Jesus wins by dying and you can't do anything anyway. Twelve: no community and authenticity — people crave real belonging, not program-based Christianity. Listener additions round out the list: be authentic and transparent; push back on individualistic consumer church culture ('the whole place ain't tuned to you'); organization itself isn't bad — Paul went where people were already organized — but don't take the Holy Spirit out of it; and resist the gamification of faith, where classes become achievement badges instead of a rich introduction to Yahweh.

Complaint line and a call for more blockers

A host invites listeners — millennial or not — to call or text the Bob Eisenlauer complaint line at (515) 517-0085 with stumbling blocks the article missed. He notes they have run longer than expected and they will do one advice letter before wrapping up.

Dear LFTP: the 4'11" man and the dating-site height filter

• Should I lie about my height on dating profiles since the algorithm filters me out?
• Am I destined to spend my life alone because of my height?

A letter from a man in his late forties, 4'11", who asks whether he should lie about his height on dating profiles since the algorithm always returns 'no match.' The hosts sympathize — 'he's up against an algorithm' — and debate: one suggests fudging to 5'0" as an experiment to test whether height is really the filter; another says online dating is a meat market and he should meet people live where personality leads; Dan's advice is to forget the 'stupid computer game' and go where people mingle. They land on confidence being the real attractive quality, mock the racetrack/jockey idea, and one notes 'Ben goes with the straight lies' regarding the fudging suggestion.

Secular answer and sign-off

The Secular answer to the height letter: lying would be neither helpful nor appropriate, since the person met would wonder what else was lied about; it adds the late mother's quote about smart women measuring men 'from the eyebrows up, not the hairline down' and suggests introductions through friends and dating sites that cater to shorter people. The hosts close with a ratings ask, the Bob Eisenlauer complaint line, and the standard benediction: 'be faithful in the means. God will handle the ends.'