Rebuilding Tower of Babel

Show open and Ken Ham's Tower of Babel announcement

• Is Ken Ham building a Tower of Babel a mistake?

The hosts open from the Pathway Studios in Johnston with the standard intro. A host reads an article announcing that Ken Ham's Ark Encounter will build a Tower of Babel expansion for its fifth anniversary. He jokes that attempting to build another tower is a mistake since the first attempt was thwarted by God, and suggests only building it halfway — 'this is where the Lord stopped him.'

Is there a Johnston improper? — the 'Johnston proper' origin story

Nathaniel asks whether there is a 'Johnston improper,' prompting a detour into why the show open says 'Johnston proper': a host explains Pants originally recorded a Des Moines intro, and when the show moved to Johnston he wanted more syllables for the cadence — 'downtown Des Moines, Johnston proper.' There was never any real reason beyond personal preference, which the hosts find fittingly emblematic of the show.

Tower of Babel attraction debate and Dan's Ark visit report

The hosts read on through the article: a Babel attraction meant to teach what genetics and the Bible say about the origin of people groups, plus a scale model of Jerusalem at the time of Christ and a children's carousel. Dan, who has visited the Ark Encounter, reports it was impressive and well-staffed — 'they're like, picking up dirt' — at roughly $70–80 admission. The hosts riff on water parks by the Ark, dioramas as 'rudimentary' shoe boxes, and which Genesis set-pieces could be built next — Moriah, a Garden of Eden with a flaming-sword angel, and what the Tower itself looked like (ziggurat vs Leaning Tower of Pisa).

Genesis longevity arc: virile Abraham, 120 years, and canopy theory

Reading Genesis, a host marvels that Abraham lived to 175, married again after Sarah died, and had seven more children 'post a hundy.' Nathaniel raises the 120-year question from Genesis 6 — whether it is a lifespan limit or a countdown to the flood — and the hosts reason that since Scripture's 'glaring problems would have been vented out' long ago, they may be misreading it. Nathaniel explains canopy theory (pre-flood water canopy giving an ideal environment for 700–900-year lifespans), followed by jokes about trans fats and Mediterranean diets.

Interactive biblical attractions brainstorm and complaint-line prompt

The hosts pitch attractions: a time-lapse of the temple ground over thousands of years, interactive Jacob wrestling with the angel, whack-a-mole with Abraham's wells and Abimelech popping up, and a daily-rebuilt Jericho wall ('Ken Ham would have to raise a lot of money to build a wall every day'). A host declares Mike 'two feet away from being a guy at Disney' as an Imagineer. The segment closes with the (515) 517-0085 complaint line, inviting listeners to say which Old Testament scene they'd want to see.

The Menards parking-lot panhandler and Nathaniel's Visa gift-card counterscheme

• Was the Menards panhandler a scammer or legitimately stranded?

A host tells how he and Nathaniel both encountered a man in the Menards parking lot claiming a blown tire and soliciting cash. Nathaniel, seeing him a second time at Walmart and then the motel angle, offered to follow him to the tire shop — then countered the man's card-number request by buying a $75 prepaid Visa gift card instead ('Nathaniel's gonna scheme a schemer'). The next day Nathaniel spotted the man at Big O Tire apparently buying top-shelf tires, leaving open the question: scam, or legitimately stranded?

Generosity vs. being defrauded: helping when you can't sort it out

The story sparks a long reflection: the hosts debate whether to help people when fraud is possible. A host admits he passed up helping because he feared being scammed — 'you run the risk of not helping legitimately' — and argues giving a fixed amount beats trying to arbiter every case. Nathaniel adds the principle that people can't scam you out of money you were willing to lose anyway, and a host lands the thesis: 'their behavior doesn't get to dictate your behavior.' A host also recounts the 4 a.m. porch-tire guy who turned out to talk like a drug distributor.

What is a bivocational pastor? — the BM article

From the porch story the hosts segue into an article, 'What is a bivocational pastor plus 10 tips if you are one.' They read the definition — pastors serving churches that can't pay full-time, or keeping a second job to save the church money — and a host pushes back: neither reason matches him, since he takes no money for the church part ('I'd still only have one vocation'). They note Paul's tentmaking as the biblical precedent and the LifeWay finding that 20–26% of pastors consider themselves bivocational ('We're gonna call it the BM from here on out'), riffing through the article's ten tips.

Being sure of your calling: holy moment or community discernment?

On the article's first tip — be sure of your calling — a host confesses he's 'squidgy' on God-calling-pastors as requiring a 'blue Blues Brothers' holy moment, recalling an interviewer's respect for him dropping by half when he said so. He describes his own call instead as God putting people in his life — Dan included — to encourage him down a path he wouldn't have found alone: 'I don't know why I would look at that as less holy.' The hosts agree they expect too much of the modern pastor — counselor, business manager, CEO — when maybe 'the guy is just supposed to be teaching the Bible and leading people to Jesus.'

Bivocational benefits: groundedness, dishwashing, and sermon-prep software overload

• Is faith easier to maintain in full-time ministry or a regular job?

Racing through the article's tips, the hosts land on 'don't do everything yourself' — warning against the congregation defaulting all Christian behavior to 'the king Christian' who gets the paycheck. Dan then describes his own bivocational years (six years on the East Side while in college and working 40+ hours at a factory library binding service) and, more recently, washing dishes at a church family's restaurant because they were desperate for help — 'the great conversations I've had with people I would never know' — versus the 'ivory little palace' bubble of full-time ministry. Nathaniel tells his 3M story about swearing in front of managers ('is that your favorite Jesus talking like?'). The hosts close the tips with a takedown of Bible software overload — a host caps his sermon research at two or three commentaries and stays out of the Logos weeds.

Dear LFTP: the 20-year drinking-and-chewing bargain

• Should I revisit the drinking/chewing bargain with my husband?

A Dear LFTP letter: after almost 20 years of marriage, a wife agreed in her twenties not to drink while her husband wouldn't chew tobacco — but he still chews twice a year while holding her to the bargain. The hosts are split but impressed by 'twice-a-year chew man,' the master of restraint, and converge on the real problem: bargaining puts the spouse in the role of enforcer, so failures breed hiding instead of support. Dan flags the husband's hypocrisy — breaking his own promise while holding her to hers. The hosts advise blowing the whole deal up and restarting as mutual encouragement rather than antagonism. Mid-discussion the hosts interrogate their own tobacco histories: Nathaniel tried a fruity vape once, and Mike admits he chews ('I may or may not have a chew') for long meetings.

The Secular answer on the tobacco bargain

The Secular answer is read: if the husband reneged on the deal, the wife is free to do as she wishes — 'it may be time to revisit that deal you made.' A host adds a sensitive note on his own aversion to drinkers ('feels like I'm talking to a different person') and reframes the real question: not whether she has the right to drink, but whether she's willing to lay it down in service of her husband — 'that's what love is.'

Dear LFTP: nephew Jim's trading cards turn out valuable

• Should I split the trading-card sale proceeds with my nephew?

The second Dear LFTP letter: years ago, teenage nephew Jim gave his younger cousin his trading-card collection as a kind-hearted gift; now part of it is quite valuable and the mother wants to sell it for her son's college fund, asking whether she should split the proceeds with Jim. Dan advises leaving it alone — 'a gift is the recipient's to do with as they like' — while the hosts roast the idea of selling Magic: The Gathering cards for college money ('lame, mom'). Tangents include a Walgreens kid weighing Magic packs to find the rare ones, and a host's regretted giveaway of a box of comic books. The Secular answer suggests at least offering a portion to 'old Jim.'

Outro: complaint line and the Old Testament scene question

The hosts close with the Bob Eisenlauer complaint line (515) 517-0085, begging for feedback after a month with no texts, and repeat the night's big question for listeners: which Old Testament scene or landmark would you want to see? They sign off with the standard benediction, 'be faithful in the means; God will handle the ends.'