The Dumpster Fire

Show open and intro banter

The hosts open from the Pathway Studios in Johnston with the standard live intro. Banter covers one host blending into the studio background in a black shirt, declining website traffic, and confusion over Facebook page likes versus personal likes. One host admits he has never visited the show's own website.

Engagement news and the wedding hashtag

An engaged host shares that he updated his profile picture to mark five months until his wedding. He clarifies his surname is Engeldinger, not 'Buva' as people assume, and that his fiancee's surname is Belanti. The hosts debate his proposed wedding hashtag, 'the bells are dinging,' which his fiancee has unexpectedly come around to liking.

Bacon content and the complaint-line poll

The hosts plan bacon-themed content for the show's Instagram and Facebook, debating ideal bacon doneness ('medium well'). They invite listeners to call or text the complaint line at (515) 517-0085 to vote for more bacon or less bacon. A sushi product called Ayasara gets a brief mention.

Quarantine life and a spillway wedding

The hosts compare notes on COVID-19 quarantine life at home with family. One recounts being ambushed with insults in the parking lot before the show and proposes a roast session to vent frustration. Another describes watching a wedding take place on the sand below the Saylorville spillway.

All in the Family and the sound-bite scare

A sidebar on the 1970s sitcom All in the Family and Archie Bunker leads to a host deadpanning 'we need more racism,' which another host immediately flags as a terrible sound bite. The hosts joke that a social media presence is impossible when any clip can be taken out of context. One host notes his wife has never listened to the show.

Marijuana call options and investment ethics

• Is it okay to buy call options on a marijuana stock - is legality the only moral standard for investing?

A host reveals he bought call options on a marijuana stock and explains how call options work. The hosts debate whether legality is a sufficient moral standard for investing, testing the position against crack cocaine and alcohol. They note alcohol sales and prescription drug use rising as quarantined people stock home bars and avoid doctors.

Lord of the Rings and 'Lukenbach, Texas'

The hosts discuss watching the extended editions of The Lord of the Rings during quarantine, with one planning LOTR tattoos. This cues up Waylon Jennings' 'Lukenbach, Texas,' which plays as a music moment.

Barbershop ad and the Philippines haircut

A sponsor read for Nice Guy barbershop on Ingersoll in Des Moines - hot towels, straight-razor shaves - prompts a host's story of getting a shave in the Philippines after burning out his own razor by skipping a power converter. A running joke casts the show as one of the sealed-up thunders of Revelation that no one may hear.

The Philippines laundry saga and 'outfits'

A host tells his first-international-trip story: fearing he would have to hand-wash clothes in a hotel basin, he instead returned from long workdays to find his laundry washed, pressed, and mended - even a torn Batman shirt armpit sewn shut. The tale revives the running 'outfits' versus 'pants and shirts' debate, settled with a Merriam-Webster definition. Side notes include Swiss flags in Cebu City and an enormous hotel buffet.

Dear LFTP: the outrageous-poster friend 'Skip'

• A longtime friend ('Skip') posts outrageous, contrarian things on social media - should I be concerned, and what should I do?

A listener worries about longtime friend 'Skip,' whose social media posts have become outrageous and contrarian. The hosts advise distinguishing offensive from alarming: unfollow if merely offensive, reach out if there are signs of real trouble. The discussion expands into a lament that the great debate - long, friendly disagreement - is a lost art replaced by ten-second philosophy. The secular answer: either be friends or don't; outrageousness is in the eye of the beholder.

Dear LFTP: the train-wreck wedding guest

• Should we invite my fiance's aggressive friend to our wedding after he got drunk and confrontational at another wedding?

A listener asks whether to invite her fiance's aggressive friend - who got drunk and confrontational at Al's wedding - to their own wedding. The hosts agree she is justified in saying no, then spiral into wedding planning: buffet service, self-serve drinks, Whole30 catering tastings, and a September 26 date. A potty-training sidebar and toilet-seat etiquette round out the segment. The secular answer backs the straight 'no.'

Dear LFTP: disowned by the family

• My husband ('Howard') was disowned and disinherited by his family - how do we deal with it?

A listener writes that her husband 'Howard' was disowned and disinherited after his father demanded a divorce he would not grant. The hosts - one speaking from personal experience of being disinherited - advise accepting what cannot be controlled and refusing self-blame. The secular answer: do not blame yourself; the only winner here is whoever poisoned the family's perception.

Sign-off and the complaint line

The hosts close by pushing the complaint line - (515) 517-0085 - for bacon votes and general complaints, noting Bob Eisenlauer may stop by once the COVID disruption settles. Sign-off blessing: be faithful; God will handle the ends.