Golden Calf Purity Rings

Produced show open

The produced opening plays: a voiceover announces the show is coming from the Pathway Studios in Johnston proper over the intro music.

Live show start and lineup rundown

A host opens the live show from the Pathway Studios and runs the first part of the lineup: Boova's 'Pope style' wisdom segment, a Real Men conference takeaway, and a brewing project in Zimbabwe.

Pope-style preview: the youth-group derailment

Addressed on-air as Boob/Boova, the bit's host previews his 'Pope style' wisdom: his youth group keeps derailing his lessons — two years into the first fifteen chapters of Proverbs without finishing — and after moving to Mark he realized he is asking the wrong questions of his faith while the kids ask the right ones.

Leftover lineup teases

A host runs through the rest of the lineup: a takeaway from the Real Men conference held at Pathway Church, a brewing project in Zimbabwe that may be deferred a couple of weeks, the Christianity Today article on reaching 'unsaved Christians,' whether anyone is giving anything up for Lent, and the top-100 Lent tweets list.

Stop signing Bibles: Trump signs Bibles in Alabama

• Is it wrong to have someone sign your Bible, and has anyone ever had theirs signed?

A news story — President Donald Trump signed Bibles at an Alabama church while visiting tornado damage — prompts a long debate. One host takes a hard no on anyone signing Bibles ('I don't want any part of it'), another is fine with blank end pages, a third sees no value in signatures at all. Anecdotes include a Dr. Foster NIV-committee signature opportunity, a Christian Okoye autograph for Dan's family, and a Randy Jackson-on-a-samurai-sword analogy via Step Brothers. Listeners are asked to call or text (515) 517-0085 with their takes.

Comedy bit: monogram versus mammogram

Spinning off the Bible-signing debate, the hosts riff on putting your own name in your Bible — a monogram — which ASR garbles into 'mammogram,' spawning a running gag about getting your Bible 'mammogramed' and checking it like gazelles.

The thirteen apostles: Matthias or Paul as the twelfth

• Is Matthias or Paul the true twelfth apostle?

Boova recounts writing the names of the '13 apostles' in his youth Bible — Judas plus Matthias plus Bartholomew — before learning Bartholomew was one of the original twelve. The hosts debate whether Matthias, chosen by lot in Acts, is the true twelfth apostle or whether Peter was 'jumping the gun' and Paul is the real twelfth.

Lent: fasting, ritual, and embodied faith

• Do I need to give something up for Lent, or am I wrong for never doing it?
• Where does the word 'Lent' come from?

A host asks whether he is wrong for never giving anything up for Lent. Another host answers at length: scripture mandates nothing, but modern fear of 'empty ritual' has cost Christians embodied habits — sackcloth and ashes, anointing, fasting, going somewhere to pray. God made mind, soul, and body, and the physical expression of inward faith is a holistic good, not superstition. He leans toward joining the season in solidarity with other believers. Dan notes he is mid-fast, which predates Lent.

The top 100 Lent tweets

• Which book of the Bible has the walls of Jericho in it?

The hosts read a list of the top 100 things people say they are giving up for Lent, drawn from 41,000 tweets: social networking, Twitter, alcohol, chocolate, Lent itself, meat, swearing, coffee, soda, sex, fast food, and joke entries like school, men, religion, bread, plastic, 'life,' and marijuana beating Brexit by one. A tangent covers a zero-waste woman who fit two years of trash in a mason jar and the first-date implications of extreme composting.

Reaching 'unsaved Christians': the Bible Belt article

• What are good starting points for a spiritual conversation with a cultural Christian?

The hosts work through the Christianity Today article 'to reach unsaved Christians, first help them get lost': a pastor's parking-lot epiphany that the Bible Belt — where people think they are Christian but grasp nothing of sin, repentance, or grace — is the hardest place in America to pastor, contrasted with California's clear believer/unbeliever line. They cite the rise of the religiously unaffiliated (16 to 23 percent, 2007-2014) and argue nominal Christianity is a refinement, not bleeding. Ministry experiences follow: one host on Bible Belt faith as a club of dos and don'ts, another on church kids taught to act Christian without knowing Christ, the case for loving one-on-one confrontation, and mission trips to the developing world as the most reliable faith-shaker. They close with the article's tips: use the Bible as authority, ask frustrating questions, walk through the Ten Commandments, and ask why Jesus died if good people go to heaven — plus whether church ministries give ritualistic attendees a place to get 'caught.'

Pope style, full: the man mistaken for the Pope on childlike curiosity

• Did dinosaurs exist, and can science and faith be held together?

Framing gag: a man in Minneapolis (sketching the 'pope' in downtown Des Moines) mistook Boova for the pontiff and demanded 'paper wisdom' — Boova refused to sign his Bible but agreed to the wisdom. Boova then delivers it: his youth group's Mark 3 lesson on the Pharisees and the Sabbath derailed into ninety minutes of kids' 'what if' questions (dinosaurs, the Big Bang, whether dogs go to heaven, who created God). It convicted him that he had stopped asking questions of God, trading curiosity for Netflix, and he urges recovering toddler-like wonder — sitting on your Father's lap asking a thousand questions an hour. He muses on Proverbs' wisdom present at creation. The hosts add: do not fear 'I don't know,' and a blistering critique of fear-based Christian science curriculum that treats God as needing protection — 'God's not a fraud... there's nothing to protect him from.'

Dear LFTP: the ex-husband who raised him versus the biological father

• Must a mother distance her son from the ex-husband who raised him?

A listener letter: her ex-husband raised her six-year-old son from infancy and they share a strong bond, but the boy's biological father now wants the son kept from the ex. The hosts land on keeping both men in the child's life — 'go with the one who acts most like a father' — suspect the biological father's motive is jealousy, advise co-parenting among the three adults, and suggest keeping an attorney in the back pocket if custody becomes a fight. The 'Secular' answer agrees: more love and positive reinforcement is better than less.

Dear LFTP: the intrusive neighbor

• How can a private couple discourage an intrusive neighbor without seeming rude?

A listener letter: a very private couple's new neighbor keeps dropping by seeking a social relationship, and they want to decline without seeming rude. The hosts advise blunt honesty over performative niceness — 'I'm all friended up... I'm not accepting friend applications right now' — arguing the neighbor will find friends next door anyway. They roast the 'Secular' answer's suggestion to redirect her to community programs ('We don't like you, but there's a community center down the road'), riffing on the Masonic Temple, the Elks lodge, and historic caves, and close with a coda about never retiring lest they become the 85-year-old Walmart greeter.

Show close

Closing business: the hosts give the complaint line (515) 517-0085, gag-invite listeners who hate the show to email Chris Roloff at the Truth Network and 'imply that it's his fault,' apologize for inconsistent broadcasting due to rough travel schedules ('we violated the vow'), and sign off with 'be faithful in the means; God will handle the ends.'