Survey Says

Show open: evaluating years of Christian news themes

• What common themes emerge from years of Christian news articles, and do they accurately picture American Christianity?

The hosts open the show from the Pathway Studios and set tonight's premise: after years of reading Christian news articles and finding them 'dumb', they will spend the episode identifying the common themes across those stories and testing whether those themes accurately picture American Christianity. They also announce Dear LFTP is coming later.

The fridge-cleaning rant

A comedy riff on refrigerator hygiene: the hosts argue that cleaning out a grimy fridge can change how food tastes, describe archaeological layers of old barbecue sauce, and invent the 'ancient of days' potato that has survived ten years in the crisper.

Theme one: turning morality into law and false wins

The first theme: Christians turn perceived morality into legislation — a lazy shortcut around winning hearts for Christ. One host names the 'false win': settling for laws passed or churches filled instead of lives changed, while conceding good legislation still has a place to buy time for the gospel.

Theme two: listicle culture and dumbed-down teaching

The second theme: Christian media implies no Christian knows how to live any part of life — a product of listicle culture that dumbs down teaching into bullet points. The hosts argue the Bible is good storytelling, and one host describes teaching straight biblical exegesis to kids and adults together, growing shepherds who teach up rather than down.

Theme three: America as God's kingdom

The third theme: a misguided American Christian belief that America is God's specific kingdom — an entitled nationalism that redirects effort from winning people into God's kingdom toward winning them to American ideals.

Theme four: self-pity over sin vs freedom in Christ

The fourth theme: Christian culture wallows in self-pity over sin instead of living in the freedom of Christ. The hosts discuss Hebrews — the Israelites denied the promised land, Jesus the faithful high priest — and argue Scripture says stop sinning and live consistently with the reconciled identity God gave you rather than consoling people in their guilt.

Theme five: surveys are worthless and demographic targeting is a diversion

The fifth theme: Christian surveys are worthless because nobody agrees on terms — the same questions are asked of the Easter-only attendee and the transformed church leader alike. The hosts argue demographic-targeted ministry is a diversion from simply following Jesus and being open to whoever God puts in front of you, illustrated by a comedic 'Randy the 75-year-old neighbor' routine.

Theme six: who do we have to love?

• Who do we have to love — who is my neighbor?

The sixth theme: Christian culture keeps asking 'who do we have to love?' — the lawyer's question from the Good Samaritan parable. The hosts argue the answer is everyone, and that our difficulty loving comes from attaching a selfish justice contingency: loving only if the other person is eventually proven wrong. Includes a running joke about a survey respondent who said sex with a lamp is fine.

Theme seven: Christians commit the same sins; good news vs good gossip

The seventh theme: no sin exists that Christians are not also committing — illustrated by a story of a pastor fleeing a house naked — yet non-Christians often do a better job of charity than the church does. The hosts contrast the world-changing 'good news' with 'good gossip': true-sounding content passed around over coffee that changes no one's life.

The brass tacks: identity in Christ and knowing Jesus

The hosts distill the episode to its brass tacks: it is an identity issue — a Christ follower follows Christ and does what he does. They close the argument with a call to get to know Jesus by reading Scripture straight through like the little kids do, and to be proactive in faith rather than reactive, since God gives the Holy Spirit as the helper for exactly that.

Dear LFTP: banned from the social group, tempted by revenge

• My friend banned me and my husband from her social group and I want revenge — what should I do?

A Dear LFTP letter is read aloud: a listener's friend has decided she can no longer tolerate the listener's husband's clunky jokes and has gotten the couple banned from her neighborhood social group; the listener is depressed, angry, and wants revenge. The hosts advise attempting reconciliation — the husband should apologize for the jokes — and warn that invoking financial generosity as a moral trump card only exposes self-righteousness. They also give the 'Secular' answer: retaliation wastes your most precious commodity, time; try talking to the group members individually.

Closing plugs and sign-off

The hosts close with show plugs — email and social handles, a push toward 500 Facebook likes and 1,000 YouTube subscribers — note a Michael Leverton studio video being posted, and mention Wayne Stewart's second Zeb Dalton book releasing that week. They sign off without outro music.