2016 Episode 43

Show open and Chris Akers announcement

The show opens with the produced intro from the Pathway Studios in Johnston proper. A host promotes Chris Akers' album Nowhere Home, which was featured on the previous week's show.

'A Very Schiehler Christmas' at Zeke's in Ames

A host plugs friend of the show Ryan Schiehler's Christmas event, 'A Very Schiehler Christmas,' at Zeke's in Ames on Saturday, December 3 at 7:00 PM — songs and stories with a special guest.

Hunting for Christmas events and the baptistery pit

A host wants to attend several Christmas services (ideally a midnight mass in a stone church) and solicits listener recommendations. This detours into a story about an old Lutheran church with a hidden musicians' loft and old-school baptisteries tucked under trap doors.

We Are Leo ugly Christmas party and concert prices

The hosts promote We Are Leo's ugly Christmas sweater party at Pathway Church on December 9 at 6:30 PM ($10 at the door, cookies and hot cocoa), then marvel at the $50 ticket price for the Michael W. Smith and Amy Grant concert and note how many talent-show winners come out of church singing culture.

Tonight's rundown

A host previews the show: Dear LFTP advice for the holidays, then a discussion of the 'Third Way Man' manifesto a host found in a group both he and another host are in.

Third Way Man introduced: benevolent power

A host introduces the Third Way Man site (thirdwayman.com): two crappy options for men — the a-hole (high strength, low love) and the coward (high love, low strength) — versus option three, 'benevolent power,' high strength and high love. The hosts immediately note it sounds like Jesus.

The church-manhood stereotype and the sourcing problem

• Can a secular 'benevolent power' masculinity actually work without Jesus as its source and fuel?

The hosts agree the manifesto's output is hard to argue with — it reads as a secular version of kingdom living — but say the prescription has no foundation: a guy in Utah asserting 'this is what dudes should be' carries no authority, while the Bible grounds the same claims in a Designer. They also note the stereotype that church men are wimpy, versus men they grew up with who were strong, joyful, and stood up for their families.

Five lies of the fatherhood matrix

A guest (speaker-3) joins mid-conversation, greeted by name as DeKarys. A host reads the Third Way Man article 'five signs you're stuck in the fatherhood matrix': family comes first; dads have to dream smaller; fatherhood makes you soft; dads are too busy to crush it; a dad's life is a life of duty. The hosts push back on the motivational vagueness — 'courage collapses time' is a bumper sticker, not instructions — and on the idea that work and family are separate rather than integrated.

'Jesus fuel': the sustainability question

The hosts land their critique: the manifesto describes the right output — intentional, ambitious, loving men — but sources it in self-motivation, which fizzles. They argue the sustainable 'fuel' is service to Jesus: a man can choose not to put it in the tank but can never run out of it, unlike money, ambition, or impressing people. They tie the problem to disciple-making: churches are short on people burning for kingdom work.

Bravery, lone voices, and what 'crushing it' means

• Am I brave enough to be the lone voice standing for the right thing before anyone else agrees with it?

A host wonders whether he could be the lone voice who dies for the right cause decades before anyone agrees — the unnamed man lynched in 1890, Noah, Amos — versus only standing arm-in-arm once the crowd agrees. The hosts reject floating definitions of 'crushing it' and land on Jesus as the model: he crushed it on the cross even though nobody but a Roman soldier picked up on it at the time. 'Nick Harris' is joked about as a fictional 'fake man' example throughout.

Don't pray for patience: fear, trust, and the driver's seat

From 'don't pray for patience' jokes to a serious thread: people hesitate to hand God the driver's seat because they fear what he'll root out or shove in. The hosts say that hesitation is a heart problem — trust means letting God do whatever is necessary — and frame fear of owning one's choices as the coward's way the manifesto describes.

Scripture declares reality

A host's reorientation: Scripture doesn't merely influence his day — it defines what is true about God, himself, and the world, so he walks out already knowing how the world works. Burying oneself in Scripture and prayer re-centers reality, instead of living in the false reality his feelings assume.

Podcast promotion

A host promotes the podcast and clips at livefromthepath.org, noting the show's long gray-area conversations don't chop into short segments well, which is why the podcast is the better medium for the extended discussion.

Dear LFTP: excluded from Christmas morning

• Is it wrong to want my own Christmas morning traditions instead of my husband spending Christmas at his parents' house without me?

A reader's letter: married six years, second married Christmas, first baby due in April — her husband spends every Christmas morning at his parents' house opening gifts with his two 40-year-old single brothers, and she has never been invited because his mother is a hoarder; he calls her selfish for wanting their own traditions. The hosts say he must leave and cleave: bring his wife or stay home. The 'Secular' answer (alternating Christmases) is read and rejected as an 'infrequent hostage situation.'

Dear LFTP: the recovering alcoholic and the booze gifts

• How can a recovering alcoholic get a friend's wife to stop bringing alcohol gifts without ruining the friendship?

A reader's letter: eleven years sober, she reconnected her husband with his best friend Scott, but Scott's wife insists on bringing alcohol as a gift every month despite firm polite requests. The hosts say stop making scenes optional — be direct ('I refuse, it will not come into our home'), and the husband is the real failure for not protecting his wife. The 'Secular' answer is read and discussed.

Dear LFTP: still in love with the ex

• Should I move forward with a new relationship while I am still in love with my ex, who has moved on?

A reader's letter: she is talking to a genuine 'keep it 100' man but is still in love with her ex, who has moved on yet still contacts her; she fears letting go and moving forward alike. The hosts advise honesty with the new person — the ex's ship has sailed — and riff on the hypothetical 'what if the ex was Tom Cruise?' The 'Secular' answer (move forward, take a break from romance) is read.

Sign-off: upcoming shows and the Christmas album

The hosts wrap up: Crystal will be on the December 19 show with her book of real relationship stories, reminders for the Schiehler Christmas event and the We Are Leo ugly sweater party, and a plug for the Live From The Pathics Christmas album ('Christmas From The Path volume one,' featuring the track 'Glory') on iTunes and Spotify. They close with the sign-off: 'be faithful to means. God will handle the ends.'