November 9, 2015 Podcast

Opening spoken-word piece on phone addiction and presence

An unnamed reader opens the show with a spoken-word piece about phone addiction: the reader's wife called the phone 'my black wife', multitasking is declared a myth, and the piece closes with 'Her presence is God's present, and you should be that present' and 'Me and my phone are no longer married.' A brief retelling of the reader's father's Vietnam-era marriage failure frames the theme of failing to 'hear past the explosions.'

Show open: the Starbucks Red Cup controversy and Christianity as a brand

The hosts open from the Pathway Studios in Johnston Proper and discuss the day's viral Starbucks Red Cup controversy, after a listener tagged Boova in the 'Merry Christmas on my cup' video. The hosts react against stunt-style Christian activism in coffee shops, argue Christians should instead live out the gospel, and worry that Christianity-as-a-brand makes it hard for outsiders to tell 'the crazies' from actual Jesus-followers, forcing evangelistic conversations to start by discrediting that image.

The Gospel Coalition's '10 personalities': secret expectations, the debater, the warrior, mommy/daddy

A host reads from a Gospel Coalition article, '10 personalities that have no place in Christian marriage,' and the hosts discuss the first four. On secret expectations: spouses must voice expectations instead of expecting telepathy. On the debater: never argue for the sake of arguing; don't debate to win. On the warrior: the battle is not against flesh and blood, and the hosts find it over-spiritualized filler. On mommy/daddy: placing children above the marriage relationship is a grievous mistake, though the article's oil-on-Aaron's-head poetry draws jokes.

The '10 personalities' continue: the finger pointer and the Holy Spirit impostor

The hosts discuss personalities five and six. On the finger pointer: a spouse's sin is a shared burden, not something to fix from a distance; 'love doesn't keep a record of wrongs.' On the Holy Spirit impostor: it is a trap to be more concerned about a spouse's spiritual state than one's own - 'we are not the Holy Spirit and we are not our spouse's conscience' - while still walking alongside a struggling spouse rather than disengaging entirely.

The 'milk toast': grace as an excuse to avoid hard conversations

The hosts reach the article's seventh personality, the 'milk toast' - spouses who use grace as cover for avoiding hard subjects. They agree: a gracious spouse still speaks truth and breaches difficult issues; conflict avoidance is dangerous and can be an overreaction by couples who never learned to disagree well. Dan notes children learn conflict handling from what is modeled at home, and the hosts worry their own daughters have never seen healthy disagreement.

The accuser, the me monster, the dictator: forgiveness, selflessness, and covenant

The hosts finish the article's final three personalities. On the accuser: forgiven past sins are not weapons for the present - though forgetting is a discipline, not automatic. On the me monster ('love does not insist on its own way'): pursuing the spouse's interest first, even at personal cost, with covenant over contract framing. On the dictator: neither spouse may dominate by force or passive-aggressive silence. Wrap-up: agreement on Jesus as the arbiter dissolves most marriage conflict; without it, only leverage remains.

Sponsor spot: the Eisenhower Team

A host reads a sponsor spot for Bob Eisenhower and the Eisenhower Team (eisenhowerteam.com, (515) 979-2883), a real-estate business that has done work for the show's hosts, friends, and family. A brief joking tag follows ('Eisenhowerteam.com and chill').

Dan Hudson's 'pope-style' advice: the massage-table story

• Practically, how do husbands keep from falling into a lazy rut in loving their wives?

Framed as 'pope-style' advice after a crowd gathered on Dan's lawn demanding it, Dan Hudson tells how he finally loved his wife intentionally: after years of responding poorly to his special-ed-teacher wife's stressful, physically assaulting workdays, he bought a $120 massage table, set up candles and a spa-music station, and gave her a surprise massage - then made it a standing weekly appointment. His thesis: husbands are lazy thinkers; 'husbands, you're idiots - love your wife,' engage your brain, and be intentional.

Truth Network radio sign-off with 'Fireflies' by Jess Anderson

The hosts sign off the Truth Network radio portion of the broadcast, noting podcast listeners get an extended second half, and play 'Fireflies' by Jess Anderson - described as a classic six-year-old track from the husband-and-wife act, dug out of the archives because the host's streaming was not working.

Podcast-only continuation: practical follow-up on intentional love

In the podcast-only second portion, Dan elaborates on his advice: get out of your world and into hers, listen without the fix-it filter, and learn what actually lifts her up. Ben adds that husbands rarely engage their wives as people with needs rather than as means of fulfillment. The segment closes with music banter - a $5 Barry Manilow CD from Starbucks and the ubiquity of Engelbert Humperdinck records - before transitioning to Dear LFTP.

Barry Manilow and Engelbert Humperdinck banter

Light banter between segments: a joke about putting a $5 Barry Manilow CD from Starbucks on repeat for hours, and a running riff on the unavoidable prevalence of Engelbert Humperdinck records and posters, including a giant Humperdinck poster at the Reno airport.

Dear LFTP: the husband with the long beautiful hair

• How can I deal with my husband's long hair when I can't bear to look at him?

A listener writes that her formerly clean-cut husband has grown his dark curly hair halfway down his back - sometimes braided, sometimes in a ponytail - and she cannot bear to look at him, though she knows hair should not matter in the grand scheme. The hosts diagnose a possible midlife crisis and fear of aging, agree she must communicate honestly and lovingly rather than stewing, and riff on appreciating other men's hair. The 'secular' advice-column answer is read but largely lost to a truncated transcript.

Dear LFTP: Sandra's sister died during the group vacation

• Should the family have told Sandra immediately that her sister Kate died, or was waiting until the end of the vacation the right call?

A listener describes a group vacation where Sandra learned mid-trip that her sister Kate had died unexpectedly, with the funeral set for after their return; Sandra's husband was furious at the relative who called. The hosts side firmly with telling immediately: a sibling's death is not something the family gets to schedule, and withholding it is the real offense. The 'secular' advice - a jokey chart rating shock versus closeness - is read and roundly rejected by the hosts.

Dear LFTP: Buddhist parents versus Christian grandparents

• How do we get the Christian grandparents to take seriously our wish not to raise our daughter Christian, short of cutting off contact?

Buddhist parents write that they do not intend to raise their two-year-old daughter Christian and are frustrated that the Christian grandparents keep teaching her Christian songs and Bible stories despite being asked not to. The hosts are skeptical of the grandparents' low-effort approach (a few songs is not much of a stand) but also of the parents' stance - claiming openness to 'all religions' while specifically excluding Christianity reads as disingenuous, and shielding a child from a grandparent's integral faith is incoherent. The 'secular' advice (limit unsupervised grandparent time) is read as classic overprotective nonsense.

Show close: clips, the musical guest, and the sign-off

The hosts close by pointing listeners to past clips and posts from the musical guest, note the closing Jess Anderson tune is a six-year-old classic, invite listener email at info@livefromthepath, and sign off with the show's benediction: 'Be faithful in the means. God will handle the ends.'