February 2, 2015 Podcast

Show open

A produced voiceover announces the show from the Pathway Studios in Johnston, then a host gives the live open, joking that the studio is 'sultry'.

Tonight's preview and phone call-out

A host previews the night's topics: the 'what is Jesus talking about' bit on the kingdom of heaven as leaven, and a controversy over the Super Bowl halftime show. He calls out Dan Hudson and Boova, named in the audio, for looking at their phones on camera, and asks for the tease on the Jesus segment, which is described as a kingdom-of-heaven description that 'sounds like a whole ball of corruption'.

Katy Perry Super Bowl halftime show and the Illuminati article

• What is the Illuminati / New World Order?

Boova, addressed as 'Moova' in the audio, presents a Facebook article headlined 'Ex Christian Katy Perry promotes dark magic and LGBT agenda at 2015 Super Bowl halftime show'. He reads its claims at length: the Luke 22:53 epigraph, the 'Illuminati' history of past halftime shows (Beyonce, Madonna, Bruno Mars), and Katy Perry's fire dress, golden beast with red eyes, and songs 'Dark Horse', 'I Kissed a Girl', and 'Firework'. The hosts push back: the golden beast does not match Daniel 7's four beasts (lion with eagle's wings, bear with three ribs, leopard with four heads, iron-toothed fourth beast with ten horns), the rainbow is 'God's rainbow', and one host reads the Wikipedia definition of the Bavarian Illuminati when asked what the term means. They conclude the article makes Christians 'look stupid' and 'make God look small', rebuking conspiracy-chasing directly: 'knock it off'. A closing note observes Lenny Kravitz also sang 'I Kissed a Girl'.

Sponsor break: Bob Eisenlauer and Westfield Veterinary Hospital

A host plugs the show's sponsors: Bob Eisenlauer of the Eisenhower team (eisenhowerteam.com) for buying or selling a home, riffing on refinancing rates, and Westfield Veterinary Hospital (westfieldvethospital.com) in Johnston for pet care, joking about overdue vet visits and gossip in the back room.

What is Jesus talking about: the kingdom of heaven is like leaven

• Why would Jesus use yeast, understood as a corruption agent, to describe the kingdom of heaven?
• Have you seen the leaven-like spread of the gospel in your own community or yourself?

A host frames the week's question from Matthew 13:33: the kingdom of heaven is like leaven a woman hid in three measures of flour, though yeast was understood in that culture as a corruption agent, especially around unleavened bread. Ben, addressed by name in the audio, argues the point is transformation: the yeast pervades and changes the whole substance into something different, which also reframes 'beware the yeast of the Pharisees'. Mike, addressed by name, emphasizes how a little leaven spreads and takes over, comparing it to a virus. The hosts riff on 'Jesus cooties' — Jesus' influence is stronger than sin's, so Christians should spread it rather than hide — and discuss the Passover purity context, the parable of the sower and proper soil, and Paul's Romans/Galatians argument that God's people themselves have been changed. The follow-up question is whether they have seen this leaven-like work in their own communities: one host cites small conversations God multiplied, another notes the work is slow, like church attendance growing through friends of friends. The bit closes with jokes about the 'yeast of the crazies' and a man's Illuminati tattoo.

'10 things you can't say while following Jesus', part 1

• What does 'there are no atheists in foxholes' mean, and why shouldn't Christians say it?
• Should Christians say 'love the sinner, hate the sin'?

A host brings an article listing things Christians should stop saying and tests three: (1) 'There are no atheists in foxholes' — the hosts say it is untrue and offers false comfort, citing Dan Hudson's experience as a hospice chaplain that 'people die like they lived'. (2) 'Love the sinner, hate the sin' — debated at length; one host argues it is a concession for angry people and the only controllable part is loving the person, Mike, named in the audio, defends the phrase as usable when used correctly, and another admits he used it as a cop-out when he could not explain the reasoning. (3) 'God never gives us more than we can handle' — rejected as a self-sufficiency platitude; the hosts argue God gives more than we can handle so we run to Him, joking about telling the martyred disciples and Polycarp to hang tight, and trace the phrase to a misuse of the 1 Corinthians 10:13 passage about temptation and 'a way out'.

'10 things you can't do at Christmas while following Jesus'

The hosts turn to the same author's Christmas list. 'Forget those without presents' (John the Baptist's 'if you have two coats, give one away') prompts debate over where the obligation stops and a joke about regifting a shake weight; 'get mad about happy holidays' prompts the observation that 'holiday' is short for 'holy day'. On 'think that it is actually Jesus' birthday', a host tells of his eight-year-old daughter worrying she was pushy for saying Christmas is Jesus' birthday at school, and of his own decision to keep his Bible visible on his corporate desk, noting coworkers simply expect Jesus-talk from him now. The segment ends with Mike, named in the audio, defining 'circle jerk' on air, an immediate apology, and a promise to look it up after the show.

Dear LFTP: the blushing letter

• I blush constantly and hate people's comments about it; what is a good response?

A host reads a Dear LFTP letter from someone who blushes involuntarily and hates people's comments about it, asking for a good response. The hosts suggest owning it with humor ('tomato face', a made-up medical name like 'beets disease', 'oh, shucks'), not getting defensive, and note it may just be physiology worth checking with a doctor. The Secular answer is then read: be upfront that you do not know why it happens but are not embarrassed, since blushing can signal social phobia, and see a physician to rule out a physical cause.

Dear LFTP: reconciling with the mother-in-law

• My mother badmouthed my husband and now our marriage is reconciled; should I ask her to apologize or let it go?

A host reads a letter from a woman whose marriage nearly failed; she badmouthed her husband to her mother, who told him she never wanted to see him again, and now asks whether to have her mother apologize or let it go. The hosts advise a two-step: she reconciles with her mother first, owning that she created the bad feeling, then visits together once things are straight, noting a mother's instinct to defend her child. The Secular answer is read: speak privately to the mother, have her explain the 'mother bear defending her cub' email, and in the future resolve marital problems as an adult rather than running to one's mother.

Truth Network sign-off

A host signs off the radio portion of the show for Truth Network listeners while the podcast continues.

The circle-jerk Urban Dictionary reveal

Back on the podcast-only portion, Mike, named in the audio, reports back after looking the phrase up on Urban Dictionary and learning its actual sexual meaning, to the hosts' mock horror. They joke about how often he has used it in mixed company and propose a new list: '10 things Mike Fust should not say on air'.

Dear LFTP: the creepy coworker

• A married coworker is getting too familiar with me; how do I make it stop without involving a supervisor?

A host reads a letter from a 20-year-old woman whose married coworker brings her treats, pays for lunches, and pats her lower back; she wants it to stop without involving a supervisor. The hosts advise telling him directly and firmly to back off, drawing a clear line, and joke about opening an 800-number 'dial-a-thug' ministry with a barbershop quartet that shows up singing 'Off Limits' to 'creep out the creepers'. The Secular answer is read: tell him to stop in a firm, clearly audible tone, document the incident, and go to a supervisor if it continues.

Dear LFTP: the hidden boyfriend

• My boyfriend hides our relationship and may be cheating; should I stay with him?

A host reads a letter from a 21-year-old back with her boyfriend Ethan, who hides the relationship, forbids Facebook mentions, barely sees her, and fights with her when they meet. The hosts are blunt: he is not really with her, she is 'the other woman', and both should grow up and move on, with one quoting a Mitch Hedberg joke. The Secular answer is read: wake up, a man in love does not hide a woman or fight constantly, and the Facebook ban is a huge red flag pointing to dishonesty and likely cheating.

Show close

A host closes the show, joking 'hide your kids, hide your wife', and signs off until next week.