December 8, 2014 Podcast

Show open and Christmas lights banter

Ben (speaker-0, addressed on-air as Ben) opens from the Pathway Studios in Johnston; the hosts riff on Christmas-light frustrations — strands that never reach, warm-white versus cool-white mismatches, and plugging the tree in before versus after wrapping. Includes the 'first-time listeners should bail' bit and a host hiding from the studio camera.

'How to tell someone knows Jesus' phrase game

• What phrases give away that someone knows Jesus?

After a story about a company executive's 100th-anniversary speech laced with 'good stewards' language, the hosts play an improv game naming telltale Christian phrases: 'blessed,' 'accountability,' 'sanctified,' calling hard times 'seasons.' The host addressed on-air as 'Boo Boo' (speaker-1) keeps naming overtly churchy words and gets called out for missing the stealthy point of the game.

Prayer language and teaching kids to pray

The hosts confess to praying on autopilot — catching themselves mid-prayer using phrases they don't understand and having to restart. One host describes teaching his kids the Lord's Prayer around age four as a memorizable foundation, then transitioning them to praying about whatever they actually care about.

Praying for food and the onion betrayal story

The hosts riff on praying for fast food to be healthy, imagining God stepping away from the 'heaven microphone' in exasperation. The host addressed on-air as 'Buba' (speaker-1) tells the story of discovering onions on his childhood McDonald's cheeseburgers and accusing his father of betrayal — in the story his father addresses him as 'Troy.'

The urban gentleman discussion

• What defines an urban gentleman?

Prompted by an article on '21 lost gentleman traditions,' the hosts define the modern urban gentleman: holding doors, walking street-side, asking a girl's dad for her hand, being on time, and — Ben's addition — giving full attention so completely that no one even knows you own a phone. Includes dating advice (don't be on your phone at restaurants), the jacket offer nobody takes, and a listener call for #urbangentleman suggestions on Twitter.

God drafts willingness, not polished skill

• How does God use people who don't feel skilled enough?

The host addressed on-air as 'Buba' (speaker-1) shares about counseling friends who feel they have nothing marketable to offer God, and how the conversation flipped back on him. The hosts land on: God doesn't draft for talent — Moses got no stick-throwing training, just 'throw it down and I'll cover the back end.' 'What does God want?' is the wrong question; it's who does he want, and the answer is always you.

Sponsor reads: Eisenlauer team and Westfield Vet

Sponsor reads for Bob Eisenlauer's real-estate team (transcript renders 'Eisenhower') at eisenlauerteam.com and Westfield Veterinary Hospital in Johnston, with a comedy riff about the hosts trying to sell or trade in their dogs at the vet clinic.

Dear LFTP: young adult torn between chef dream and family

• How can I move forward with my goals without severing family bonds?

A host reads a letter from a young adult, eldest of four, living in the basement with no job, no license, and few friends, who found culinary training that requires living on-site and fears pursuing it will look like abandoning family. The hosts suspect the letter is one-sided, advise waiting six months and getting self-supporting, then read the pre-written 'secular' answer (prioritize self-support; family bonds are bonds of love, not chains) and riff on it.

Dear LFTP: 12-year-old who still plays with dolls

• I'm 12 and still play with dolls — how do I grow up?

A host reads a letter from a 12-year-old embarrassed about still playing with dolls while classmates wear makeup, dealing with tantrums and a sister who calls her stupid. The hosts' advice: pray for your sister, stop the tantrums, play with dolls as long as you want. The pre-written 'secular' answer (talk to your mother about feelings; dolls aren't immaturity) is read, and a host pushes back on the 'people of every age play with dolls' line.

Dear LFTP: renting a room to her ex-husband

• Am I hurting my kids by letting my ex-husband rent a room?

A host reads a letter from a divorced woman who took in her ex-husband (he left her for another woman, then showed up needing food and shelter) and now can't get him out; she asks whether she's hurting the kids and how to silence well-meaning lecturers. The hosts split: one warns the arrangement can't stay smooth long-term, another says don't borrow trouble — act when there's an actual problem — and a third leans toward reconciliation if he's repentant, or showing him the door if he just wants a room.

Radio sign-off, sponsors, next-week teaser

The radio broadcast portion ends with a sign-off for Truth Network 99.3 FM listeners, a repeat of the Bob Eisenlauer and Westfield Veterinary Hospital sponsor mentions, and a teaser: next week's in-studio guest works on Bible translation for Papua New Guinea (transcript renders her name 'Mary Wacey').

Secular's advice on the ex-husband letter

After the radio break the hosts return to the ex-husband letter and read the pre-written 'secular' answer: the arrangement likely won't hurt the kids, but it will shrink her dating prospects, and she should tell the lecturers to pipe down. A host flags 'I know what I'm doing' as the telltale phrase of every fool, suggesting 'I've been praying about this and feel led' as the wiser wording.

Creatures Great and Small: Bible quiz on dogs

• On what day of creation were dogs created?
• How many dogs entered the ark?

The hosts take a ten-question 'Creatures Great and Small' Bible quiz on dogs (via christiansunite.com): creation day of dogs, dogs on the ark, who prophesied Jezebel eaten by dogs, 'am I a dog that thou comest to me with staves,' the living dog versus the dead lion, pearls before swine, and the Canaanite woman's 'crumbs' reply. They score 6 out of 10 — one point below the site's 61 average — and riff on the Yahoo Answers 'best answer' explaining Ecclesiastes 9:4.

Close-out and sign-off

The hosts wrap the episode: next week's Bible-translation guest, listener email, the #urbangentleman Twitter thread, and a sign-off blessing.