February 24, 2014 Podcast

Show open and agenda

• What does the modern Christian man look like, and what is his next step?
• How should Christians read and use the Old Testament?

The host (speaker-0) opens from the Pathway Studios in Johnston and identifies himself as Ben (ASR renders 'Ben Foust', 'the double minded man'). He previews the episode: the upcoming Real Men of Faith Conference, a portrait of the modern Christian man, how Christians should read the Old Testament, Pope-style advice from Mike and John Buba, and a Dear LFTP letter. The Old Testament topic is announced here but the episode never returns to it.

Last week's lists recap and sponsor reads

The hosts recap last week's '10 men Christian women should never marry' list, joking that John Buva was his own category as number 10 ('Don't feed John Buva'), and preview this week's follow-up: '8 women Christian men should never marry'. Sponsor reads follow for Westfield Veterinary Hospital and the Eisenhower team (Bob Eisenhower, ASR for the Ben-verified Bob Eisenlauer).

Snow-shoveling bit

A comedy bit about winter yard work: melted snow reveals uncleaned yard garbage ('looks like Jethro and his boys moved in'), a cheap plastic shovel, and an uneven sidewalk that becomes an ice-skating rink. The host riffs on the wounded 'man pride' of dead-stopping a shovel mid-scoop and giving up on shoveling altogether.

Reading the portrait of the modern Christian man

The host reads his written sketch of the modern Christian man: he loves his wife and kids and wants to lead them but has no vision for implementation, so he overreacts or underreacts and feels defeated; he knows right from wrong but avoids conflict with the culture; he reveres scripture in concept but rarely studies it, defends it but never advances it; he is firm on agreed-upon rules but hesitant on the kingdom ethic; he is blown around by job, family, and circumstance; and he expects the church to be powerful while doing little himself.

Testing the portrait: leading the family

The hosts take the portrait point by point, starting with family leadership. One host agrees the description fits him, especially in marriage and parenting: he owns his overreactions ('I will own that responsibility') but traces them to a shaky faith foundation — 'left to my own devices in the middle of an ocean, I will splash like a fool.' The best talks happen over a table, not with 'two guys in bats', and rash parenting decisions come from lacking comfort in the relationship with Christ.

Church as event and the gray of culture

A host (speaker-1) argues the modern man is this way partly because church became a Sunday-morning event of short series and sound bites instead of substance for daily life — 'six weeks on how to be the perfect dad' — and because every three weeks brings a new book, like diet advice, so men no longer know what to do. The host adds that Christians swim in the gray, where he feels uncomfortable and makes foolish decisions: 'that's why I let Christ run my life,' illustrated by his dread of car buying.

Fruitless moral battles vs. the kingdom

Taking up the point about knowing right from wrong while clashing with the culture, the host says he watches person after person who loves Jesus fight fruitless moral battles instead of talking about the kingdom of God and the redemptive blood of Jesus Christ. These fights end with 'fist in the air' and nothing accomplished, and he disassociates from people who fight morality without the heart of Christ behind it. He is more concerned that someone's heart becomes for Christ than that he win a moral argument, even at work or on Facebook.

Scripture: revered but rarely studied

On the point that the modern man reveres scripture but doesn't study it, a host says the people in church who actually study their Bibles often become the outcasts pushing barriers, while the rest want milk. He says Sunday services alone would not hold him — if the 35 constrained minutes of a sermon were his whole relationship with God, 'I don't think you'd have my heart.' The grass-is-greener saying is true only of the kingdom of God: he knows his whole life would change if he pulled the curtain back and lived there, but he may know only a handful of men who actually do.

Alexander Dumas: describing a kingdom never visited

The host tells the story of Alexander Dumas (ASR 'Alexander Duois'), the prolific French author of The Three Musketeers and The Count of Monte Cristo, who wrote glowing, well-regarded travel guides to destinations he had never visited. He wonders how much of that exists among believers: men who can describe the kingdom of God convincingly — 'it represents it accurately' — but don't live there, perpetuating a group of men who 'love Jesus and tell a lot of stories about how things could be, but don't live lives on how they should.'

The mower anecdote: what is kingdom living?

The host recounts a coworker who owns a huge commercial walk-behind mower for a tiny city yard and mows his dirt-poor neighbor lady's lawn for free. He asks: is kingdom living selling the oversized mower, buying a reasonable one, and giving her the cash — or keeping the 54-inch mower for two square feet of grass? 'In the kingdom, I need a regular sized mower, and that lady needs food. Done.'

Next step: from ritual to relationship

• What does the modern Christian man look like, and what is his next step?

Asked for the modern Christian man's next step, a host (speaker-2) says to go beyond the rituals of being a Christ follower — daily Bible reading, daily prayer — and make the connection from ritual to relationship, while admitting he doesn't know exactly how that tipping point looks. He shares that he has been in church 10+ years but is still new in his own faith, and keeps hitting the wall of whether he has a relationship with Christ or is just good at looking like he does. The other host adds the bottom line: 'put some skin in the game' — love God and neighbor in deed, not just in thought.

The call to genuine discipleship

A host (speaker-1) calls for genuine discipleship — 'older men teaching the younger men type of thing from scripture' — noting every generation thinks it needs no mentors. The other host says he barely knows men he would trust with that job, and calls young men to submit to discipleship and older men to stop hiding. He wishes a man two generations above him would confront him directly ('you know what, Ben? It's not right what you're doing'), and diagnoses the core disconnect as 'mental agreement' without action: like a cat that believes food is in the bowl but won't go eat it. The show is 'not bold internally' and 'not bold and loving externally' — men who defend truth but won't pursue it, ending as 'whitewashed tombs' arguing over beliefs they never act on.

List #1: the unbeliever

• Should a Christian marry an unbeliever?

After recapping last week's list ('Number 11 being me'), the host reads the follow-up article: '8 women Christian men should never marry,' starting with #1, the unbeliever — 'the Bible is absolutely clear on this point. Christians should not marry unbelievers.' The hosts agree: the order is God first, then spouse, and marrying someone with no God at the top is a base-root worldview mismatch. They riff on Jesus' tower parable — plan before you build or 'they're gonna make fun of you' — as the same fatherly straight talk Christ gives.

List #2: the material girl

The host reads #2, the material girl: an anecdote of a fiancée from a rich family who demanded a bigger diamond and pushed her fiancé toward debt for a 'Tiffany's lifestyle' on a 'Walmart budget.' The hosts push back on the one-sided telling: the woman is a cartoon, hints of this exist in everyone, and wanting expensive things isn't itself a Christian issue — the real flag is the expectation mismatch when she marries a non-rich man. One host jokes about being Donald Trump with unlimited resources; they agree mismatched money expectations need an honest conversation.

List #3: the diva

The host reads #3, the diva — women who think the world revolves around them and snap unreasonable demands. The hosts debate whether it's attitude or lifestyle, joking about 'reasonable' demands like 'turn on the porch light.' One host frames controlling behavior as the curse: 'the woman that wants to hold it over the man... it's just the curse, man... Remember Adam? Get your thorns and thistles out of here.' The segment closes with a running pronunciation joke — a host spelled Samson with a p — and a callback to the first Secular-vs-Solomon game.

List #4: the Delilah

The host reads #4, the Delilah: Samson, anointed with superhuman strength, lost his power when a seductive woman learned his secret and 'gave her man the world's most famous haircut' — 'she will blind you with her charms, break your heart, and snip your anointing off.' The hosts retort that Samson was 'an idiot... a straight up dummy... a doofus' and the woman wasn't that cunning, but they agree on the practical warning: if a Christian woman dresses provocatively, flirts with other men, posts sexually inappropriate comments, or is okay with sex before marriage, 'get out.' One host (speaker-1) says his wife's modest dress was attractive to him before they dated.

List #5: the contentious woman, then a break

The host reads #5, the contentious woman: a young man made his resentful, bitter fiancée deal with her unforgiveness before proposing, and the article insists a woman 'seething with anger and unforgiveness' get prayer and counseling first. The hosts mock the framing — 'Hey. You know how you're human? Yeah. Fix that.' — and one host (speaker-1) says believer or not, you stay away from someone too angry to breathe. The segment ends with a radio break: the Samson pronunciation bit and a 99.3 sign-off.

List #6: the controller

The host reads #6, the controller: marriage is a fifty-fifty partnership that works only through mutual submission (Ephesians 5:21), and some women manipulate decisions to get their way — which is why premarital counseling matters. The hosts mostly riff: one jokes 'I should it should be $95.05. I make good decisions,' and another (speaker-2) deadpans that he skipped marriage because he figured this out on his own.

List #7: the mama's girl

The host reads #7, the mama's girl: it's normal for a new wife to call her mom, but not five times a day about every detail including her sex life — Genesis 2:24 says a man leaves his parents and cleaves to his wife. A host (addressed as Dan) lands the line 'You don't cleave until you leave. That's good, Dan.' The hosts agree the apron strings aren't cut until vows are made, and riff on the boundary: if a father-in-law asked about his daughter's sex life, 'I love that woman, and I'll kill you' — Paul, they add, proves you can love Jesus without it.

List #8: the addict — discernment vs. grace

The host reads #8, the addict: many in the church struggle with addictions — alcohol, illegal drugs, prescription medicines, pornography — and it isn't wise to marry before a girlfriend faces her issues; the rule is Proverbs 31:30 ('Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the lord, she shall be praised'). The hosts split: one (addressed as Dan) says he would be out — 'I don't want my children around it' — while the host pushes back with grace: 'ninety nine percent of the dudes [are] addicted to porn,' marriage doesn't functionally change you, and he's willing to 'love through some things,' recalling last week's 'snake handler man' discussion about judging someone's whole faith by one struggle.

Pushback: the lists leave no room for humanity

A host (speaker-2) pushes back on both lists: every person is in some degree one or many of the listed types, and the harsh 'do not marry this person' distinction 'makes no room for humanity.' The hosts agree the lists paint with a broad brush and that 'we have a little bit of each and every one of these,' though they keep the beater off any nuance: too many people marry abusers believing 'it'll get better' or 'maybe I deserved it.' The segment closes with an anecdote about a congregation where not one person reads Christian blogs — content pieces preach to people who don't need them.

Pope style: take the kingdom to work

The Pope-style advice the intro previews as Mike's — 'it has to do with your family... with time... with family' — is delivered: after a vacation with his family, the speaker realized he doesn't spend enough quality time with his wife and kids, giving 50–60 hours a week to a job that makes him feel 'bought out.' His conviction is a kingdom distinction he wasn't making: at home he lives on 'team Foost, team Jesus,' but he leaves the kingdom to go to work and treats it as a separate universe. The advice: stop living in segments — 'put some skin in the game,' take the kingdom with you to the job, and be the same person there. Another host agrees the 'separate worlds' mindset is the problem: people don't live one cohesive life under a single banner. Note: diarization labels the delivery speaker-0; the intro attributes this advice to Mike.

Pope style: drop the Sunday mask

The Pope-style segment cued on air as 'Moova, pope style' is delivered by the fourth host (the intro promised John Buba's Pope style; he names 'Ben, 50,000, for Mike and Dan and I, 10,000' as the notional front-yard crowds). After explaining the concept — each host steps onto his front yard before a crowd that won't leave until he gives a nugget of wisdom — his advice: drop the 'Sunday church mask.' He watched a man post lit-up Jesus content on Facebook, then four hours later leave dark comments on a non-Christian post: 'putting a mask on' before some people and taking it off before others misrepresents a relationship with Christ. The charge: always shine the light of God, not just an hour or two, and never misrepresent Him. The host responds: just be who you are — 'be a guy that loves Jesus' — and stop protecting relationships where people don't really know you.

Dear LFTP: verbally abusive in-laws

• How can a wife make her verbally abusive in-laws stop?

The reader reads a Dear LFTP letter: married 17 years with two children to a wonderful man, but verbally abusive in-laws — the mother-in-law admits to being mean and nasty and 'hates people' — have driven her to plead work as an excuse to skip holidays, even spending Christmas home alone. They now pressure her husband to move nearer; with Easter coming she asks, 'How can I make their verbal abuse stop? I'm sick of being the brunt of jokes and sarcastic comments.' The hosts say the husband must stand up for his wife ('Hi, mom. You're verbally abusive. We're not coming'), then add that the letter-writer overstates her case by validating a woman who hates people: don't give a nasty person power to define you. One host shares his own counsel to his bullied daughter: pray for the bully, expect the worst, and find joy when she's only half that bad.

Secular's answer and the sign-off

The Secular answer is read on the letter: 'if your husband is wonderful, why has he tolerated his parents treating you this way for seventeen years? He should have insisted from the beginning of your marriage that you be treated with respect... you can't make your in-laws stop their verbal abuse, but your husband might be able to if he locates his spine.' The hosts call it a home run — Secular 'put on the big girl pants' and says it with force, and they appreciate the directness even when they disagree with her. The show closes with a promo for Friday's free Real Men of Faith Conference with Bob Russell at Rising Sun Church of Christ in Pleasant Hill (realmeniowa.org) and the sign-off.