February 3, 2014 Podcast

Show open

The show opens with the produced intro voiceover and a host welcoming listeners from the Pathway Studios in Johnston proper.

The 'keep it 100' slang bit

The hosts riff on the Facebook-era phrase 'keep it 100' after one of them looks up its definition (to stay real and true no matter what anyone else thinks). They debate whether declaring authenticity proves it, evolve it into 'keeping a hundy,' and start rating each other as percentages ('I'm an 84'), joking they could kill the phrase with a sermon series called 'Keep It 100.'

Tonight's lineup and Christopher Akers follow-up

A host previews the show: a City Harmonic member's blog post titled 'Why the Bible Isn't Your Love Letter,' some pope-style advice, and Dear LFTP letters. He also promotes last week's musical guest Christopher Akers, whose acoustic songs on the show are now available as full-band recordings on his Reverb Nation and Bandcamp pages.

Super Bowl halftime show: Bruno Mars

The hosts talk about the recent Super Bowl halftime show — Bruno Mars doing James Brown-style dance moves — and a host reflects on feeling uncool watching it. They agree the production is a charade: no one sets up an arena rock show in ten minutes, so the instruments are props and the recording is played over the speakers.

News: the 'Faith Swap' experiment

A host reads a news story about Premier Christian Radio's 'Faith Swap': Bentley Browning, a committed Christian, and Simon Capes, an atheist, both UK comedians, agreed to swap religious practices for thirty days — prayer and church attendance dropped by one, picked up by the other.

Would the hosts swap faith practices with an atheist?

• Would you trade 30 days of your faith rituals to get an atheist buddy to try church?

The hosts debate whether they would trade thirty days of prayer and church rituals for an atheist buddy's immersion in their ways. One argues it just trades mechanics and defines the faith by tasks; another says he could give up the visible rituals if he prayed beforehand, while a third says he could not stop praying because it is woven into his day. They land on framing rituals as tools for the relationship, not the relationship itself.

Church is weird for newcomers

• Is church the worst place to bring someone who doesn't know Jesus?

Playing out what an unbeliever experiences walking into church — songs to a 'man horse' named Hosanna, standing and sitting on unknown cues, getting baptized by accident — the hosts laugh their way to a conclusion: church is a strange place to bring someone who doesn't know Jesus, and evangelism should be personal first.

Corporate prayer and communion habits

The hosts trade stories about prayer getting derailed — Dan (named on air) is joked about for interrupting a host's communion prayer after twenty seconds — and about communion habits at their church: sitting in back and getting the tray last versus sitting in front, and holding onto the cup instead of passing it back. They close the bit with the running joke: stop taking people to church.

Blog reading: 'Why the Bible Isn't Your Love Letter'

A host reads through a City Harmonic member's blog post arguing the Bible is not God's personal love letter to each individual. The post quotes 2 Corinthians 3 — the church itself is the letter from Christ, written on human hearts — and warns that treating Scripture as personal self-affirmation reduces Jesus to a 'personal cosmic chauffeur' and makes self-image an idol.

Discussion: individual faith versus the body of Christ

• Are we too individualistic in how we talk about our relationship with Christ?

The hosts work through the blog post: personal faith needs outward works to avoid becoming self-service; a generation was sold 'it's all about you' conversion pitching; the church-as-bride means Jesus was not thinking of one individual on the cross — a bit that spirals into 'Troy Engeldinger' and the nicknames 'John Booby the third' and 'Bobo.' One host says he is increasingly repulsed by 'converts' because 'Jesus never said make converts. He said make disciples.'

Pope-style advice: get past the milk

• Why aren't the Maccabees in the Protestant Bible?

A host gives his pope-style advice: he now only wants two kinds of Christian teaching — rigorous, historically grounded Bible teaching and changed-lives testimony — and is wary of the middle ground of emotional life-coaching spray-painted onto Jesus. The hosts riff on the 'totem pole' metaphor: shallow faith built on John 3:16 alone falls when it hits an unfamiliar book; knowing why the Maccabees are not in the Protestant Bible, or who the Pharisees were, requires digging into history. One host describes reading Scripture one verse at a time and finally seeing parables land.

Sponsor break: Eisenlauer Team and Westfield Vet

A host reads sponsor spots for the Eisenlauer Team (Bob Eisenlauer's real estate team) and Westfield Veterinary Hospital in Johnston, plugging pet dental month.

Dear LFTP: the 18-year-old and Cash

• Should an 18-year-old demand a long engagement from her boyfriend Cash before his 20th birthday?

A listener letter: a self-described strong, independent 18-year-old has dated her boyfriend Cash for four years and wants a long engagement before his 20th birthday so she can be sure he's serious; Cash says he wants time to be young and stupid. One host's instant verdict is 'get out now.' The hosts debate whether Cash is actually stand-up (four years faithful, honest about not being ready) versus the relationship going nowhere, then read Secular's answer: loosen the grip or drive him away. They close with a joke sending the radio audience off at the hour.

Dear LFTP: the $45,000 and separate bank accounts

• What should a wife do after her husband secretly put $45,000 of their house savings into his struggling business?
• Is it unhealthy for a married couple to keep separate bank accounts?

A listener letter: a couple saved $45,000 for a house down payment, and the husband secretly put it all into his struggling twelve-year business. The hosts discuss the deeper mistrust, then the framing question: is it unhealthy for a married couple to keep separate bank accounts? A host argues separate accounts with no accountability breeds secrecy — the two became one — while acknowledging it works for some. Secular's answer: trust is the basis of partnership; get access to all documents if you stay.

Dear LFTP: the aromantic asexual friend

• How do I tell a guy I am aromantic and asexual without ruining the friendship?

A listener letter: a woman who identifies as aromantic asexual gave a party acquaintance her number through a mutual friend, and now he wants a romantic date — how does she tell him without ruining the friendship? The hosts conclude nobody asks for a number to make a friend, then do an on-air roleplay with Troy Engeldinger as the guy and Mike as the woman ('Do you wanna go out on a date sometime? A romantic one? No.') that devolves into a Subway bit. Secular's answer is read and mocked as sounding worse than the truth.

Outro and promos

A host closes the show: website, past shows on YouTube, the Monday-night live stream at 10pm, the Saturday rebroadcast on 99.3 KTIA from 7 to 8, and teasing big things coming this year.

Produced sponsor reads: Dr. Fido and Eisenlauer Team

Two produced sponsor spots: a comedy bit asking 'what if your dog was the vet?' for Westfield Veterinary Hospital, and a home-selling bit urging callers to contact Bob Eisenlauer of the Eisenlauer Team, giving phone (515) 979-2883 and eisenlauerteam.com.