December 30, 2013 Podcast

Show open and opening banter

The episode opens at the Pathway Studios in Johnston Proper with the standard intro, then the hosts do cold-open banter about odd on-air noises and a misremembered Christmas carol lyric about lowing cattle.

Christian blogs and scripture on social media

A host reports that no one at church would admit to reading Christian blogs, then the hosts discuss whether posting bare scripture verses on Facebook or Twitter is edifying or just billboard content; they agree context - how scripture intersects a person's story - is what makes sharing meaningful. Includes a joke about the ESV rendering 'gird your loins' as 'dress for action like a man.'

Year-end listener prompt and sponsor reads

• What were the hosts' top and low moments with the show in 2013?

The hosts ask listeners to be thinking about their top and low moments with the show in 2013, then read sponsor spots for Bob Eisenlauer's real estate team and Westfield Veterinary Hospital in Johnston.

The top 10 rudest things people do in church

The hosts walk through a Charisma magazine list of the ten rudest things people do in church - talking during the service, texting or playing games on phones (one host admits accidentally launching Candy Crush with the sound on during a sermon), sleeping or snoring during the sermon, clipping fingernails, answering ringing phones, constantly leaving the auditorium, walking out early, crying babies, gum chewing, and public displays of affection - mostly confessing to the infractions themselves and debating whether any of them really matter.

Bonus infractions: prayer violence, amen overuse, offering-plate theft, swearing, drinking

The hosts riff on the honorable-mention infractions from the same poll: pushing people to the floor while praying for them ('prayer violence'), saying 'amen' a hundred times during a sermon, taking change from the offering plate (one host would permit it - if someone is desperate enough to steal from the plate they probably need it), swearing in church, and drinking beverages through the service. A host closes the hour by noting the radio broadcast portion ends here.

Radio sign-off and show info

The hosts sign off the Saturday 7PM 99.3 KTIA radio broadcast, explain the podcast version runs longer with bonus content, and tease the podcast-only advice letters plus the 2013 best-and-worst roundup.

Dear LFTP: parents starting to hate their older daughter

• My wife and I are starting to hate our older daughter - a college dropout living at home who won't save or contribute. What do we do?

A host reads a Dear LFTP letter from parents who are starting to hate their older daughter - a college dropout who moved home, won't save or contribute, and is creating a toxic atmosphere. The hosts land on tough love: hold the move-out deadline, because shielding adult children from natural consequences only enables them - while still treating her as a daughter (dinner invitations, grocery gift cards). They also read the 'secular' answer, which urges finding the root cause behind the behavior instead of hating it.

Dear LFTP: thank-you note after a goodbye tea

• Is a thank-you note proper after a dying friend's goodbye tea, and who should receive it?

A host reads a letter from someone invited at the last minute to a dying friend's 'goodbye tea' hosted by the friend's four children, asking whether a thank-you note is proper and who should receive it. The hosts advise sending the note to the children who organized the event, and read the 'secular' answer suggesting a separate note to the friend herself expressing gratitude for the time together.

Dear LFTP: in-laws' double-dipping and dog-licked plates

• My in-laws double-dip, eat out of the pot, and let the dog eat off plates - how do I handle this?

A host reads a letter from a woman whose in-laws double-dip, eat straight out of the pot, and let a dog eat off plates (run through the dishwasher). The hosts advise her not to worry about it - restaurant plates are worse - and read the 'secular' answer: eat before you go and visit infrequently.

Dear LFTP: the hairstylist and the cousin's divorce

• Must I apologize to distant family and stop seeing my hairstylist because of my cousin's divorce?

A host reads a letter from a woman who has used the same hairstylist, Marietta, for seventeen years; Marietta is married to the writer's cousin Gil and they are divorcing, and distant family demands she switch stylists and apologize. The hosts say it's just business - keep seeing Marietta - while debating whether avoiding a fight with a spouse over the same issue would be wiser. A comic back-and-forth turns the salon visits into a spy-movie 'hair affair.' The 'secular' answer: tell Gil's mother to stay out of your hair.

Best and worst of LFTP 2013

The hosts share their low points and highlights from 2013: the in-studio worst goes to Mike (named on-air) for calling out another host's habit of restating questions to stall for time; one host's low was an embarrassing failed attempt to broadcast live from a Christian music concert without the artist's approval, though the interviews salvaged the trip - Tim Timmons, Rhett Walker, and the lead singer of Building 429. High points include the Silversyde visit, the Christmas from the Path show, personal growth through honest on-air questions, and the '50 proofs' series engaging an atheist website.

Bible quiz: secrets in the Bible

• What was the secret message that Ehud had for King Eglon of Moab?
• What did the prophet Amos say that the Lord will do without revealing it to His servants the prophets?

To close the show, a host runs the in-studio crew through a 12-question 'Secrets in the Bible' quiz (category: Bible general; the online average score is 49% across nearly 15,000 attempts). The hosts debate each question - Ehud's 'secret message' to King Eglon, what Amos said God does without revealing it to the prophets, where Job asked God to hide him, the meaning of 'the secret of the LORD,' Psalm 91's opening, Ecclesiastes on judgment, Proverbs' 'stolen waters' woman, open rebuke versus secret love, what Jesus said in secret at His trial, 2 Peter's false teachers, Ephesians on works of darkness, and what Herod secretly asked the wise men.

Quiz results: six of twelve, just above average

The hosts grade the quiz and land at six of twelve correct - 50%, just above the quiz's 49% historical average - and note the 49% figure is impossible to hit exactly on a 12-question quiz. Correct answers: Ehud's dagger (Judges), 'nothing' (Amos 3:7), 'in the grave' (Job 14:13), Jesus said nothing in secret (John 18:20), and Herod wanted the exact time of the star (Matthew 2:7); misses include Psalm 91's 'abide under the shadow of the Almighty' and Proverbs' woman speaking 'to those who lack understanding.' Mike (named on-air) earns a point for originally calling 'fear him' on the Psalm 25:14 question.

Show outro

A host thanks listeners, reminds them where to find the show, and signs off until the following week - and, jokingly, 'next year.'