April 2 2013

Show open from the Pathway Studios

A produced opening voiceover declares the show live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston proper. A host then gives the broadcast schedule: Monday nights 10 to 11 PM online, and Saturday nights 7 to 8 on KTIA, noting the online show carries bonus content.

Chewbacca impression gag

Studio banter opens with a claimed best-ever Chewbacca impression that a host disputes; a second host performs the impression and is judged the better of the two. Pure opening comedy bit.

Tonight's agenda and running jokes

The hosts lay out the night: proof 41 of the godisimaginary '50 proofs', a round of Secular vs. Solomon, and a teaser question about whether it is okay to lie to an animal (answered later in the show as a bit). Includes the recurring 'I'm gonna beat your face' joke and an aside about Troy shopping for a phone booth.

Troy's TARDIS phone-booth cutout

A host recounts talking to his girlfriend while browsing All Posters and finding a nine-foot-tall 3D TARDIS phone-booth cutout he plans to buy by saving $12.50 a paycheck for five months, despite joking he is irresponsible with money. The bit spirals into homeless people with mobile debit devices ('Mobo Hobo').

Proof 41: 'Flip a Coin' read aloud

• Does unanswered coin-flip prayer prove that Jesus is imaginary?

A host reads proof 41 from the godisimaginary website's '50 proofs', cleverly entitled 'Flip a Coin': pray to the sun god Ra to make a coin land heads 50 times and note that statistical analysis shows Ra does nothing; then pray to Jesus and note Christians invent rationalizations for identical results. Read nearly verbatim.

Hosts respond to the coin-flip proof

The hosts answer the proof: you shall not put the Lord your God to the test, citing Satan taking Jesus to the top of the temple; they discuss why they believe the God of the Bible over the sun god Ra (he reached out to them), that Jesus' historical existence is uncontested by reasonable historians, and that the proof's 'pious followers' framing misunderstands Christianity since piety does not buy God's favor.

Proof 42 preview: hearing from God

A host previews proof 42, 'Listen when God talks', then the hosts discuss discerning whether God is speaking: second-guessing, one host's anecdote about asking for 'herds of deer' as a sign and deer appearing in his driveway, and Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch as the model for God moving people where he wants them. Includes the recurring Jimmy Swaggart New Testament gag.

Contact info and sponsor reads

The hosts give contact details (goddess@madrigy.com, lifefromthepath.org archives) and read sponsor spots: On Purpose Promos (Jared Roy, onpurposepromos.com), the Eisenlauer Team realty (Bob and Bill Eisenlauer, eisenhowerteam.com), Capana's Coffee and Gelato in Ames, and Valley Services cleaning, plus thanks to 99.3 KTIA for airtime.

Christian concert calendar idea

Prompted by Audrey Assad's upcoming show at Zeke's, a host proposes keeping a Christian concert calendar for listeners; the hosts mention Audio Adrenaline in Indianola on the 11th and encourage people to support touring Christian artists by showing up.

Secular vs. Solomon: rounds 1-3

The Secular vs. Solomon game begins: 'A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver' (Solomon, Proverbs 25:11), 'It is better to be born a beggar than a fool' (secular, Spanish), and 'It is better to be a male for one day than a female for ten' (secular, Kurdish). Includes banter about countries and guesses like Egypt, Barovia, Latvia.

Secular vs. Solomon: rounds 4-8

More game rounds: 'Trusting in a treacherous man in time of trouble is like a bad tooth or a foot that slips' (Solomon, Proverbs 25:19), 'It is not good to eat much honey nor is it glorious to seek one's own glory' (Solomon, Proverbs 25:27), 'He who cannot agree with his enemies is controlled by them' (secular, Chinese), 'He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever' (secular, Chinese), and 'After shaking hands with a Greek, count your fingers' (secular, Albanian). Tangents on common Greek names and whether Yani is Greek.

Secular vs. Solomon: final rounds and wrap

The game closes with 'Like a lame man's legs, which hang useless is a proverb in the mouth of fools' (Solomon, Proverbs 26:7) and 'A man without self control is like a city broken into and left without walls' (Solomon, Proverbs 25:28), followed by a breakdown of the city-without-walls metaphor: no defense, wide open to attack. Capana's Coffee and Gelato is named as the game's sponsor.

The Bible miniseries finale critique

The hosts discuss the finale of the History Channel's 'The Bible' miniseries: excessive liberties versus Scripture, the argument that the medium cannot support the material, and annoyance at religious viewers complaining that the actor playing Jesus is 'too pretty' without having watched. They note people are talking about Jesus as a result. Includes a Samson tangent (a man with no redeeming qualities God kept enabling) and a shout-out to SkyDoesMinecraft in the YouTube chat.

Dear LFTP: lipstick-on-undies letter (skipped)

• How do I get the lipstick out of my husband's shorts?

A Dear LFTP letter about a husband coming home late with a red stain on his underwear is read, then dropped when the hosts suspect it is an April Fool's joke.

Dear LFTP: should we take in baby Whitney?

• Should we take in my dying relative's one-year-old daughter Whitney?
• Is it wrong to want to keep a certain lifestyle and travel rather than take in the child?

A woman writes that her ill relative may not survive, leaving a one-year-old daughter Whitney and a husband uninterested in parenting; her own husband wants to take the child in, but she enjoys her lifestyle and travel. The hosts advise that both spouses must be all in — you cannot talk someone into it — while one host admits he would lean toward taking the child. The secular answer read on air: children need love and attention from the adults who parent them.

Dear LFTP: sister asked out Joey

• My sister asked out the guy I like before I did; what should I do?

A woman writes that her sister asked out Joey, a man she likes but never asked out herself, and she is not speaking to her sister. The hosts say she is too late if she never asked him out, that a man who needs to be asked out may not be worth it, and warn about sisterly 'broken girl code' warfare. The secular answer read on air: if she jumped in knowing her sister was interested it was sneaky, but there is nothing to gain from declaring war.

The prayer-list tip

A host shares that his prayer life had gone flat and he could not pray fervently for twenty-five minutes as before, so he made a written list of what he wanted to give to God; reading it off, everything came flooding back. The other hosts agree there is nothing wrong with preparing for prayer.

Dear LFTP: loud woman after weight loss

• Why do newly thin women forget how awesome their personalities used to be?

A plus-sized, loud, boisterous woman writes that friends who lost weight became timid approval-seeking shells and asks why newly thin women forget how awesome their personalities were. The hosts discuss that big personalities can be armor against being made fun of, that getting fit for vanity reasons invites losing yourself, and that weight loss is fine for health. The secular answer read on air is similar in tone.

Outro: bonus content and next week

The hosts sign off with a joke that online bonus content is 'only a bonus if it's good', note the building 429 show on April 27, Brian Leach of Service Legends in studio next Monday, the Audio Adrenaline show Thursday, and Audrey Assad at Zeke's on the 22nd, then end with an improvised song about the jiggle laugh.