November12 , 2012

Show open and rundown

The hosts open live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston, contrast the internet stream with the KTIA radio broadcast, and preview the night's lineup: in-studio guest Bethany Joy Johnson, a round of Dear LFTP advice, a failed-end-of-the-world quiz, Pope-style advice, and a taste of the LFTP Christmas album.

GodIsImaginary.com is gone — God won

A host reports that GodIsImaginary.com, the atheist site the show has been rebutting for 24 weeks, has disappeared. The hosts riff on it — one says 'God won,' another jokes the author converted, and a host says he had put the site's author on his prayer list weeks earlier.

The 24-7 prayer room

The hosts describe the church's twice-yearly 24-7 prayer room next door to the studio: round-the-clock prayer for a week or two, white paper on the walls for written prayers. One host reflects on the written prayers as a glimpse of what God sees, another admits to weeping over someone's soul there, and the group jokes about removing shoes on holy ground and foot odor.

Sponsor read: Valley Services

A holiday-themed sponsor read for Valley Services residential cleaning: a host pitches cleaning as a gift for one's significant other before family visits, offers a fifth cleaning free for mentioning Live from the Path, and the hosts joke about a new puppy and towel hoarding.

Guest interview: Bethany Joy Johnson, part 1

The hosts interview in-studio musical guest Bethany Joy Johnson. She describes her debut album Breaking New Ground (released March 3), rewriting all the songs in the studio, a year that included the Iowa State Fair and opening for the Natas at a Metro Arts Alliance benefit, and tells the story of an old lady who gave her $5 for a candy bar after she helped her find her car — which the hosts dub 'the Ananias candy exchange.'

Performance: 'Someday' by Bethany Joy Johnson

Bethany Joy Johnson performs her original song 'Someday,' which she wrote from her life goals and the legacy she hopes to leave. The hosts praise how well the melody fits her voice.

Station break banter and quiz tease

After the song, the hosts banter about falsetto envy and beatboxing, take a station break for KTIA listeners while riffing with the internet audience, and tease the coming quiz — 'the end of the world as we know it.'

Quiz: The end of the world as we know it

• Pope Innocent III computed the end of the world to be 1284, 666 years after the founding of which religion?
• In the 1840s, William Miller led the Millerites and predicted the world would end when?

The hosts and their guest play a five-question multiple-choice quiz about people who wrongly predicted the end of the world: Pope Innocent III and 1284 (answer: Islam), William Miller and the Millerites (answer: all of the above), the Anabaptist takeover of Munster in the 1530s (answer: all of the above), 1524 astrologers predicting a flood (conflicts with God's promise never to flood the earth again), and the exhumed historical figure of 1000 AD (answer: Charlemagne). The hosts score themselves freely and close with a pitch to play the show's games online.

Christmas show announcement and dead-Andy banter

Bethany announces her Christmas show: December 16 at 6:30 p.m., First Baptist Church in Indianola, free admission, full band, games and prizes. The hosts then riff on the recently deceased Andy Williams and Andy Griffith ('a bad year to be an old Andy folk singer') before teeing up the LFTP Christmas album bit.

Parody Christmas album infomercial

A produced comedy infomercial for the fictional LFTP Christmas album 'Ben, Mike, and Dan sing over perfectly good Christmas songs' plus the bonus classic 'It's a Wonderful Live from the Path,' with badly sung samples of Christmas standards, quoted scenes from It's a Wonderful Life, a $58 price tag, and the disclaimer that no albums were actually produced and listeners should give their money to someone in need.

Guest interview, part 2: new singles and Christmas songwriting

The hosts return to the interview: Bethany describes writing the new single 'Lost' at shows until fans begged her to record it, and explains why writing a Christmas song is so hard (everything turns into Jingle Bells or Bing Crosby). The hosts rehearse her audience echo part for the live performance, joking about sounding like the Jolly Green Giant.

Performance: 'Lost' by Bethany Joy Johnson

Bethany performs her new single 'Lost' live in studio, with the hosts joining in on the echo part they rehearsed. The hosts call it catchy and joke about quitting jobs and kicking open diner doors.

Post-song wrap

The hosts react to 'Lost,' confirm it is not yet on CD ('soonish'), joke about putting the live take on iTunes, and restate the December 16 Christmas show details before moving on to Dear LFTP.

Dear LFTP: the clingy boss

• How do I tell my clingy boss I don't want to eat lunch with him without offending him or hurting his feelings?

A listener writes that her new boss Harold insists on eating lunch with her every day and asks how to say no without offending him. The hosts debate whether he is lonely or attracted to her, reject lying about a cage-fighter boyfriend and over-complicated dodges, and land on the direct approach: tell him honestly and kindly that the work relationship needs to stay at work. The 'Secular says' answer — politely but firmly guard your lunch hour — is read and dismissed as stiffly worded but basically right.

Dear LFTP: six cats and Thanksgiving

• How do I handle Thanksgiving at a relative's house where cat hair gets into the food when I am allergic to cats?

A listener who is allergic to cats asks how to handle Thanksgiving at a relative's house where cat hair ends up on the table, plates, and food. The hosts advise being honest about the allergy, offering to celebrate elsewhere or asking the cats to be corralled, and read the 'Secular says' answer about arranging to celebrate elsewhere. A host shares a story about missing Thanksgiving with a toothache that looked suspicious when he felt better afterward.

Pope-style advice: God's not a liar

Mike, addressed by name in the audio, delivers the Pope-style advice: 'God's not a liar. Stop acting like he is.' After a church sermon on tithing he realized that holding back from giving is calling God a liar about providing; he applies the same pattern to a work situation and a conversation with a kid about Jesus, and concludes that God's answers are yes, no, or none of your business — never wishy-washy.

Close and plugs

The hosts close out: thanks to Bethany Joy Johnson, reminders of bethanyjoyjohnson.com, the December 16 Christmas show at First Baptist Church in Indianola, and the show's Monday internet / Saturday KTIA schedule.