August 20 2012

Show open and studio banter

Ben opens the show by name from the Pathway studios in Johnston. The studio is chilly and the hosts joke that everyone wearing glasses makes it a 'dork fest.'

Night's lineup and Mike's society teaser

• Society is Christianity's biggest problem — but what's the real reason?

Mike's thesis is teased: 'Society is Christianity's biggest problem, but not for the reason you think.' Tonight's game is Secular vs Solomon, played as the two hosts versus the live chat.

Pre-game rag on Dan's game record

The hosts rag on Dan's Secular vs Solomon record: brilliant at locating verses off-air, helpless once the game starts. Dan blames the multiple Bible translations.

Menu teaser: game, proof 14, and a maybe-advice segment

The night's menu: Secular vs Solomon, proof number 14 from godisimaginary.com ('examine Jesus' miracles'), and a possible advice segment on 'dear life' that they admit they may never get to. The Scientology phone-call story is teed up next.

The 6:55 AM Scientology phone call

• When a strange, possibly struggling caller keeps you on the phone and you have to get to work, do you stay and witness or go to work?

A host recounts a Saturday 6:30 AM phone call from a man who said he wanted to switch to Scientology. The call looped with 'thanks' and strange spacey background music in 20-second snippets for about 15 minutes, until the caller hung up and switched off his phone. The host wrestles with whether he failed at witnessing by going to work instead of staying on the line.

Why do you have faith? Bible knowledge and denominations

• Why is it that you have a faith in Jesus Christ?
• Why do non-denominational Christians score highest on Bible knowledge?

Spinning off the call, the hosts ask why they have faith in Jesus and note how many professing Christians know nothing about him. They recall a Pew Research study showing non-denominational Christians score highest on Bible knowledge, attributing it to being Bible-focused rather than beholden to denominational tradition and liturgy.

Society is Christianity's biggest problem

Mike's thesis unpacked: the problem is not a hostile society but the church's fixation on protesting, boycotting, and culture-warring instead of living for Christ. The hosts pitch a new show slogan, 'as you go, make disciples,' and riff on a satirical 'sin of the week' segment the church could adopt instead of starting another protest group.

Station ID and promos

Station ID and promos: livefromthepath.org, the YouTube channels (livefromthepath and thepathonline, joked to be 'popular with the senior citizens'), flowing straight into the game-show intro.

Secular vs Solomon game intro and rules

The game intro for 'America's fastest growing internet game show,' Secular vs Solomon. After a joke warm-up proverb ('a priest's beard is always in the butter,' guessed Russia), the rules are set: guess secular or Solomon, guess the country of origin for secular ones, and judge whether a secular saying is still biblical in principle. Two hosts versus the chat tonight.

Round 1: Go often to the house of a friend

'Go often to the house of a friend, for weeds soon choke up the unused path.' Mike guesses Solomon, Dan guesses secular, the chat weighs in with 'Sal' (shorthand for Solomon). The answer is secular, Swedish, followed by a digression about a chat regular who kept mispronouncing Gore Vidal.

Round 2: Dead flies in the perfumer's ointment

'Dead flies make the perfumer's ointment give off a stench.' Guesses split; the answer is Solomon (Ecclesiastes 10:1), prompting a riff on dead flies ruining a life defined by wisdom and honor.

Round 3: A blind man who sees

'A blind man who sees is better than a sighted man who is blind.' The room leans secular, with guesses of Iran and Korea. The host teases Dan about not getting a point for a secular guess, and a lone 'Solomon' is uttered as the game moves on, so the announced verdict is unclear in the transcript.

Round 4: The serpent charmer

'If the serpent bites before it is charmed, there is no advantage to the charmer.' Dan guesses secular (India); the answer is Solomon (Ecclesiastes 10:11), with Johnny Quest and Annie jokes and a chat commenter's 'don't poke the bear.'

Round 5: Hatred stirs up strife

'Hatred stirs up strife but love covers all offenses.' A host notes it sounds like the Apostle Paul; the answer is Solomon (Proverbs 10:12).

Round 6: The elephant and the buffalo

'If there were no elephant in the jungle, the buffalo would be a great animal.' Guesses range from Chad to 'Africa's a country'; the verdict is secular, not biblical. A Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan joke and a riff on relativism follow: Jesus is 'the great decider,' and the buffalo remains 'the king of the dumbest.'

Round 7: The rebuke of the wise

'It is better for a man to hear the rebuke of the wise than to hear the song of fools.' The answer is Solomon (Ecclesiastes 7:5), rendered 'English standard style,' spawning the 1-800 rebuke hotline joke and a church in Topeka that 'already has that number.'

Round 8: Gold buttons on a torn coat

'Don't put gold buttons on a torn coat.' The hosts compare it to 'gold in a pig's snout' and 'don't cast your pearls before swine'; the answer is secular, Albania.

Round 9: If a tree falls to the south or north

'If a tree falls to the south or to the north, in the place where the tree falls there it will lie.' After a Norway/Switzerland/Alps debate and a riff on cultural judgments about 'simpletons,' the answer is secular.

Game wrap and Secular vs Solomon t-shirts

Game wrap: the host declares victory (citing the elephant-and-buffalo logic), asks for a proper game ending theme, and plugs the Secular vs Solomon t-shirts on the show's Spreadshirt store, 'at no profit to us.'

Proof 14 read: examine Jesus' miracles

• If someone came to you today and said 'I am God,' what would you do?
• Why didn't Jesus write a book and leave behind real, tangible evidence?

Proof number 14 from godisimaginary.com is read aloud: if someone claimed to be God today you would demand rock-solid proof; Jesus gets no pass for living 2,000 years ago; if he were God he should have written a book and left tangible evidence. Includes a comedic voice impression of the proof's Christian spokesman, which the host says sounds like Mr. Gower, teasing Mike.

Rebuttal: the circus analogy and eyewitness testimony

Rebuttal part one: the circus analogy. The host's grandpa took him to the circus at age five; with no photos, a skeptic could deny it ever happened, yet four of grandpa's friends wrote accounts of his life. The point: everything we accept is based on someone's observation and testimony (even gravity is 'a reportable offense'), and the proof's author arrogantly dismisses eyewitnesses simply because he disagrees with them.

Rebuttal: the omitted miracles and the conspiracy argument

Rebuttal part two: the proof author cherry-picked low-brow miracles (water into wine) while ignoring the raising of the dead (three occasions, including himself) and the feeding of the 5,000 with thousands of witnesses. A fabricated story would require an impossible conspiracy in the first century, when living opponents could have refuted it; the apostles' martyrdoms (John boiled alive, then exiled to an island) make a hoax motive absurd.

Sign-off: next week's proof and gossip

Sign-off: 'God wins again,' week 14 closed. Next week brings proof number 15 (examine Jesus' resurrection) and a gossip topic, plus final promos for the website and YouTube channels.